Unexpected
by Doodles2
Summary: Lily has secretly liked James for years, but when they become friends, it'll all becomes too much for James and he hurts her to no end. After that, will Lily ever trust him again? Will they ever finally fall in love? RR! Chapter 19 up now!
1. First Day

I own nothing that you recognize!!!!  
  
Chapter One The First Day  
Lily stood in the entrance hall waiting for friends, who, she had somehow been separated from. Her tight, red curls bounced as she stood on her toes, urging here mere 5'3'' frame to grow.  
  
Students flooded in from the train all around her, chattering excitably. Suddenly two hands covered Lily's green eyes from behind.  
  
"Guess who!" cried the owner of the hands.  
  
Turning around, Lily saw her friend Alisa. She was a natural beauty with shoulder length brown-blonde hair, brown eyes and fair skin.  
  
"There you are!" exclaimed Lily. "Why weren't you on the train?"  
  
"Oh, well, you know my dad is on the school board and they had a meeting today, so we came early. Who are you waiting for? Kari, James, Remus, Peter, and Sirius are already at the feast."  
  
Lily smiled and they walked towards their friends.  
  
"Lily! What happed to you?" screamed Kari.  
  
Lily laughed, "I got lost!"  
  
Kari was curvy and self confident, with glowing mocha skin and depthless dark brown eyes framed with thick lashes.  
  
"That's my Lily"  
  
Lily giggled and sat down. "Hey Remus, Sirius. James."  
  
They all echoed her salutation, James somewhat vaguely as he watched two Ravenclaw girls glide past, smiling over their shoulders at him.  
  
Lily sighed over her foolishness that James would ever be interested in what she had to say. She cursed herself for not being able to stop loving him even though he was the biggest flirt in the school. Why couldn't she get over him?  
  
She remembered the first time she saw him, six years ago. He was just an awkward little boy with glasses two sizes to big. They had been pretty close then, but then he discovered girls and they discovered him. Lily was pushed aside.  
  
After the sorting ceremony, Lily and the rest of her friends were talking about their summer vacations when Dumbledore walked up to their table, (They are all in Gryfindor. Spelling?) guiding a girl with wavy blonde hair, gray eyes, and an athletic build. Lily caught her eyes and the girl became timid, looking at the floor.  
  
Dumbledore cleared his throat at the eight of them. "This is Lizzie, a new student who has just arrived from America. Would you all make her feel welcome, please?"  
  
They smiled and nodded, scooting over so she could sit down.  
  
"So, American, huh?" Kari asked, always the brave one.  
  
Lizzie looked at her plate and nodded.  
  
"Hey, you can hang out with us." Lily offered glancing at her friends. She noticed Remus looking at the girl curiously. "So, do you play quidditch?" She asked in an attempt at conversation.  
  
Lizzie looked up suddenly, her eyes glittering. "I love quidditch! I was a seeker on my team at home." She exclaimed happily.  
  
"James over there is the captain of our houses team, you should try out!" Lily gestured towards the end of the table where James had been sitting."  
  
Lizzie looked where Lily had pointed, "Who?"  
  
Lily turned to show her and noticed with some annoyance that James was walking out of the Great Hall with a slinky blonde girl on his arm.  
  
"Ugh, never mind, I'll get you on the team."  
So..What do you think? This is my first fic so I hope ya'll like it!!!! Please, please, please review!!!  
  
Love Doodles 


	2. Some Secrets

If you recognize it, it's not mine!  
Chapter 2 Some Secrets  
  
The first week went by with out incident, unless you count Peter trying to high-five Sirius, tripping, and landing flat on his face.  
  
Lizzie was immediately welcomed into their group. She was somewhat of an over achiever, as shy as she was, being placed on the quidditch team and quickly moving to the top of all her classes.  
  
On Friday afternoon, Lily, Kari, and Remus walked lazily to the North Tower for their Divination lesson.  
  
"I hear we got a new teacher." sighed Kari, "I hope she is as nice as Professor Bumble. That was my favorite class!"  
  
Lily and Remus nodded their agreement. Finally their reached the silver ladder that lead to the classroom. Climbing it, they were greeted with a choking stuffiness.  
  
"Oh my gosh! What is that smell!" Lily gagged, fanning her nose. She looked around the once familiar room, only to see that the ordinary desks had been replaced with fluffy couches and chairs. "Well, where should we sit?"  
  
They chose a wide purple couch in the back of the room and waited for the teacher to arrive.  
  
"Greetings class." called a voice that was trying hard to be mysterious and haunting. A thin woman in a green dress with a bandana tied to her wavy black hair peered at them through large glasses as she stepped into the classroom.  
  
"My name is Professor Trelawney. I am your new Divination teacher." She announced, giving them a dewy smile. Lily and Remus exchanged glances.  
  
"Today, we will begin mind reading. Please get out Unfogging the Future, turn to page 497, and I will separate you into pairs."  
  
Professor Trelawney went around the room sorting out people into groups of two. When she got to the back of the room, she paired Lily with a girl named Lindsay and Remus with Kari.  
  
"Once you read the chapter, you may begin trying to guess your partners thoughts."  
  
Remus and Kari read through the chapter quickly.  
  
"Are you ready Remus?" Kari asked, finishing the last sentence.  
  
"Yeah, why don't you go first so I can see if I got it right." he answered.  
  
Kari nodded and looked at the book, "Ok, so first we need to light the candle," she pulled out her wand and magically lit the candle sitting between them on the small table. (A/N: the table is like a breakfast in bed table thing.) "Then, we hold hands and close our eyes. You think about anything and I will try to receive it."  
  
They grasped hands and closed their eyes, becoming lost in the task at hand. The flame of the candle suddenly began to grow.  
  
Professor Trelawney noticed, "Look class, do you see the flame on Mr. Lupin's and Ms. Beckman's (That is Kari's last name.) candle? It means that a thought is being passed between them."  
  
The class turned to watch the ever growing flame. After a full five minutes, it began to shrink.  
  
Kari and Remus released hands and blinked dimly at their classmates who stared at them with baited breath.  
  
"Who was acting as Seer here?" Professor Trelawney gasped.  
  
Kari raised her hand.  
  
"And. what did you see?" the professor asked, almost whispering.  
  
Kari looked at Remus and bit her lip. "I don't think Remus would want me to tell everyone."  
  
The class erupted in chatter, each with their own opinion of what Remus had been thinking.  
  
Professor Trelawney straightened up, "Quiet class! Very well, Ms. Beckman, Mr. Lupin. As you wish."  
  
Lily ran over to the purple couch as Trelawney walked away. "Oh! You guys, tell me!" she begged.  
  
"Lily, you already know the first thing." Remus hinted.  
  
Her eyes widened, "Oh! That you're a." she whispered.  
  
Remus and Kari nodded.  
  
"The seconded thing is kind of funny!" Kari laughed. "Remus likes Lizzie!" She murmured in a sing-song voice.  
  
Lily laughed with Kari. "As if that wasn't obvious!"  
  
Remus's face reddened. "Shut it, you guys."  
  
When class ended, they walked down the tower to go to dinner. At the end of the stairwell, Lizzie was leaning against the wall.  
  
"Hey Remus, did you want me to check over your essay still?" She asked.  
  
Lily and Kari burst out giggling and walked quickly away.  
Ok, everyone, I hope that was all least a little good. I couldn't think of anything else to do except for start introducing Kari and Remus. Anyway, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease review!!!!!!  
  
OH! That reminds me. I would also like to thank my first reviewer! Thank you so much for the support. I really do hope people like it.  
  
Love Doodles. 


	3. Wormtail

I own the plot and some characters, that's it!  
  
WARNING: This chapter contains some elements that are not suitable for younger readers.  
  
Chapter 3 Wormtail  
  
The news spread through the group of friends quicker than fire; Lizzie and Remus were a couple! Whenever anyone approached them about it, they smiled and nodded bashfully.  
  
"It's not fair." Lily complained to Alisa, watching the new couple sit companionably side by side at lunch. "I wished that J...err, the person I like, would like me back."  
  
Alisa smiled. "Wouldn't that be nice?" She thought of her own crush on Sirius. Tall, dark, and handsome, she was such a cliché! And to kick her while she was down, he fit the cliché perfectly, never being seen without is twittering fan club following closely behind.  
  
Lily crossed her arms and looked at the floor. "Oh, and what have you got to worry about, you're pretty enough to get any guy in the school."  
  
Alisa gaped at her friend. Never in her life had anyone said anything like that to her. "Not the guy I want though. And anyway, what are you saying anyone would be lucky to be with you."  
  
"I like James." Lily hissed. "How am I supposed to compete with his testosterone and all those girls who are willing to do anything? I mean, the whole thing is stupid. I will never have a chance."  
  
Alisa was taken aback by Lily's harsh tone. "I think I can relate to that. I would love nothing more than for Sirius to even look at me as more than a friend, but I, like you, stand little possibility in being more than a flavor-of-the-week. So don't, Lillian Evans, think that you've got it so bad." She breathed heavily after this announcement.  
  
"Oh my God. We are two very sad girls." Sighed Lily.  
  
Suddenly, a voice from behind startled the two girls.  
  
"I am sorry, I couldn't help overhear you." Began Peter. "But I must tell you...."  
  
"You heard us?!?!" Shouted Lily and Alisa at the same time. They were considerably upset; having just spilled their biggest secrets to a person they barely knew.  
  
"Well, yes. I must tell you not to waste your time with those two. But I am always here for you, a shoulder to cry on, someone to hold you, be your protector. All you need to do is ask." He smiled smugly at this, as though he was waiting for them to thank him on bended knee.  
  
"Uh, yeah, we'll call you if we need you." Replied Alisa with a disgusted edge to her voice.  
  
Peter frowned slightly at her, and then returned his gaze to Lily. "I have always thought you were pretty, my Lily flower, my red headed angel." He gave her one last gracious smile, turned and walked away.  
  
As soon as he was out of earshot, Alisa threw her head back, laughing. "Oh! That was the funniest thing I have ever heard!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
After two months, Remus and Lizzie were still, amazingly, together. Everyone agreed that they seemed to be made for one another, both being extremely studious, top of their classes, and, (this one was a big plus in Remus's opinion,) she didn't flinch when she found out he was a werewolf.  
  
One day in November, Lily was walking by herself through the empty corridor to study in the Library when she heard someone muttering to themselves in a deserted classroom. Curious, she walked through the doorway to see who it was.  
  
Inside, Peter stood in the middle, looking at Lily as though he had been expecting her all along. "Ah! My Lily flower, you arrive at last!" He said closing and locking the door behind her with his wand.  
  
"Peter, what are you doing?" Lily asked, fear unwillingly ebbing it's way into her voice.  
  
"Oh, my angel, I only believe that we are meant to be together. You and I, as one." He replied, pulling her in roughly and kissing her.  
  
Lily pushed him away. "I don't want this! I am not your flower; I am not your angel! Stay away from me!" She yelled, hopping her voice would carry through the thick walls of the castle. She turned and tried to unlock the door.  
  
"You can't open the door, my flower! Do you think I am completely stupid? I have thought of everything, there is no way out!" Peter laughed. Lily's clothes disappeared with a wave of his wand. "Oh, flower! How I have longed for your body. It is truly beautiful, a masterpiece!"  
  
Lily gasped as the cold air hit her skin. Falling to the floor, she tried to cover herself with her hands.  
  
Peter, too, pulled off his clothing, and leaned in to kiss Lily. In a panic, she kneed him hard in the stomach. He doubled over in pain, but instead of moan of anguish, a soft laugh issued from his mouth. "Lils, angel, don't fight this, I don't want to have to hurt you."  
  
He tried once more to kiss her and was received with a slap. "Lily, Lily, Lily. This could have been easy, even fun, but now I am getting impatient and angry." He took his wand and pointed it at her. Suddenly her arms and legs were tied to the wall. "That's better!" and he raped her.  
  
After over an hour, he had finished. Taking one look at Lily's tear- stained face, he laughed. "I have always loved you, flower! Perhaps now you understand that. But, I promise you, if any of the teachers find out, you will not have a happy life. I will take that promise to my grave." He waved his wand once more and Lily fell off the wall, fully clothed. Then, muttering, "Alohamora." Peter strode from the room.  
  
Lily tumbled to the floor, sobbing.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~******~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	4. The Morning After

The stuff you recognize, yeah, it's not mine.  
Chapter 4 The Morning After  
  


James walked slowly down the hallway under the invisibility cloak. Sirius had talked him into snitching food from the kitchens but of course was too lazy to come himself.  
  
As he came down the final stretch of the hall, James heard a girl crying in an empty classroom. He looked towards the portrait that led to the kitchen, then at the classroom where the sobbing was intensifying.  
  
Food.........crying girl.....food....crying girl? He stomped his foot, he had such a weakness for weeping females!  
  
Entering the room slowly, James almost didn't see the small girl curled against the wall. He recognized that red hair!  
  
"Lily! What happened?!?" He cried, swooping over her, cradling her in his arms. "Are you okay?"  
  
Lily felt someone lift her body. She was completely outside of herself and without even looking at the face, she clung to the persons clothes.  
  
"Lily, tell me what happened." James repeated as her fingers dug into his chest.  
  
She let out a wavering breath, and then sobbed out, "He raped me. He raped me; please don't let him come near me." A fresh wave of tears washed over her face.  
  
James's eyes searched Lily's face. "Who did this to you? Who raped you? Please tell me or I can't help you."  
  
Lily blinked and shook her head, as if confused. Then, without warning, she looked straight into his eyes, whispering "Peter."  
Hiding the cloak in a dark corner of the deserted room, James hurried Lily to Professor Dumbledore's office. He whispered the password to the gargoyle and was about to knock on the door when Lily grabbed his wrist, her eyes wide.  
  
"No! He...He...will make my life hell if you tell. I don't want any trouble." Lily's voice trembled after so much crying.  
  
"What....? No, we have to tell someone. I won't let him hurt you, neither will Professor Dumbledore. Lily, please, come one."  
  
Reluctantly, she let go of his arm and he knocked loudly.  
  
Within a few minutes the door opened, revealing Professor Dumbledore in pajamas and a night cap. "Ah! Mr. Potter! Ms. Evans! To what do I owe this honor?" He smiled at them, and then, seeing Lily's tear stained face, his smile dimmed. "Ms. Evans, whatever is wrong?"  
  
"Uh, Professor? Can Lily and I come into your office?" James interrupted.  
  
"Of course! I am so sorry!" Dumbledore ushered them into his office. "Now, will you two, please, explain yourselves."  
  
James looked at Lily who seemed enchanted almost with a knot in the wood of Professor Dumbledore's desk.  
  
"Um.....Lily was...Lily was....she was raped. By Peter Pettigrew." James stammered, fully aware of Dumbledore's look of growing alarm.  
  
Looking at Lily, Dumbledore narrowed his eyes. "Are you....are you quite sure it was him?" He asked it as if was impossible.  
  
Lily looked up sharply. "Am I quite sure it was him?" She asked with flame creeping into her eyes and ice dripping from her words. "Of course I am sure, damn it! How could I have missed it? He was fucking raping me!" Lily's temper finally snapped.  
  
Dumbledore sat back in his seat, surveying her attitude. James just stared at Lily with awe and horror.  
  
"Oh my God! I can't believe I just said that! Professor, I am so sorry." Her eyes were opened as wide as they could get, as well as covering her mouth with her hand.  
  
Dumbledore patted her arm. "Its okay, Lily! I understand. You have had a considerable amount of stress tonight. I will send you to the infirmary, where you can be checked out. You may go back to the Gryffindor tower now, Mr. Potter. Thank you very much for your help."  
  
James walked back to the empty class room where the invisibility cloak was stuffed. He couldn't really believe that Peter would do anything like this. Peter was just the small stuttering boy that couldn't keep up with him and Sirius.  
  
And Lily. Lily had seemed so scared. For all these years, James had completely ignored her, but it seemed that now, more than ever, she would need him as a friend. He supposed that he would have to make more of an effort.  
"James! Buddy! What took you so long? I hope you got a lot of food!" Sirius yelled as James entered the dormitory. "Uh, you may not have noticed, but I think you left all the food in the kitchen, pal." He said, noticing no chow in his friends' arms.  
  
James shook his head. "No, no, man. Something happened. I was on my way to the kitchens when I heard someone crying. It was...." He looked around and noticed that Peter was also in the room. "It was Marissa, that Hufflepuff girl. She and her friend had a fight, so she needed some support." He quickly lied.  
  
"Ah, man! You and crying females." Sirius laughed.  
  
"Yeah. Me and crying females." Ran through James's head.  
The next morning, Lily woke up, yawned, stretched and was about to jump out of the bed when she looked around and noticed she wasn't in her own dormitory.  
  
"Oh! Ms. Evans! You're awake!" Chirped Madam Glencoe, the plump, cheery school nurse. "How are you feeling this morning, dear?"  
  
Lily checked herself. "A little sore, actually."  
  
"Ah, well you've had a terrible ordeal. Well, you slept through your first and second classes and....."  
  
"I missed my classes?!?" Lily exclaimed, "Why didn't you wake me?"  
  
"My dear, don't you worry, you've been excused from everything. Besides, that darling Mr. Potter brought all the notes for you. Oh, and Professor Dumbledore thought you might like to know that he is talking to Mr. Pettigrew right now and that he will be expelled." Rushed Madam Glencoe in one breath. "Now. You will sit here and eat breakfast before you go to class."  
  
Madam Glencoe placed a small serving platter on Lily's lap before walking away.  
  
Lily thought about the news she had just heard. Expelled? Peter would know she went to the teachers. He would torture her to no end and turn her life upside down. Then she remembered James's promise. "....I won't let him hurt you. Neither will Professor Dumbledore..." and felt instantly safe.  
In time for her fourth class, Lily was dressed and ready to face school. But as she walked down the hall, eyes averted from her and whispering followed.  
  
*_"I know, I know they've been talking about me. I can hear them whisper, and it makes me think there must be something wrong with me."*_  
  
When she reached her class, Lily plopped into the seat beside Alisa. "So, I suppose that everyone has heard?" She asked.  
  
Alisa gave her a sad smile before nodding. "Well, they expelled Peter, so it got around fast." Then her face got more serious. "Have you heard Lily? Have you heard what Peter told people?" Alisa's voice became almost pleading. Lily shook her head. "He told them you asked for it. I didn't believe it, but some people might think...."  
  
Lily's eyes flooded with tears but she blinked them back. This was just the beginning of his promise, she knew that.  
  


So, my friends, how was that? I hope you all liked it.  
  
Also, the quote up there is from Matchbox Twenty's "Unwell".  
  
THANK YOU to the people you have reviewed so far, it is really encouraging.  
Doodles.


	5. James's Plan

If I owned anything except for the plot and some characters, I'd be rich. And I'm not...sadly.  
**Chapter 5 James's Plan**  
For the next week, Lily was seen constantly with James Potter. He made her feel safe, so if she hid behind him, she could hold her head high without shame.  
At first, he felt like protecting her and making all the whispers stop, but she was getting in his way, stifling him. The girls that used to crowd around him had disappeared, thinking something serious was going on between Lily and James. He had to get her away from him!  
"Lily?" He asked one day while escorting her to Transfiguration. "Why do you hang around me so much?" James sincerely hoped it didn't sound too mean.  
She looked at the floor, thinking. "Well, I guess you make me feel safe. I don't want to get close to anyone else, except for my other friends, of course. But, you know, Peter really hurt me and I suppose I would do anything to avoid it, if that makes any sense." Lily answered, wincing at the memory. "This is my class. See you later?"  
  
James nodded and began to walk away. Suddenly an idea popped into his head. "I wonder...." He thought out loud, startling two first years.  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~8~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  


Sirius listened to James with growing alarm. "So, Prongs. You are going to fulfill Lily's dearest wish, and go out with her, so that you can break it off, hurt her, and make her stay away from you. Kind of dastardly, don't you think?"  
James closed his eyes in frustration. "Man, she's ruining me! Lily won't let me go anywhere without her. I mean I understand that what she went through is awful, but come on! Peter is gone!"  
"Fine. Do whatever you want. Just know that I don't support this." Sirius answered with a sigh.  
"But you won't tell anyone, right?" Muttered James.  
"You.....you have my word."  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~8~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  


Lily walked into the dormitory that she shared with Alisa, Kari, Lizzie, and Toni, a mild mannered girl. Less than ten minutes ago, James had asked her out. The one guy at the school she had idolized for....forever, was her boyfriend.  
Alisa and Kari (Lizzie was studying with Remus) noticed their friends unusually happy mood at once.  
Kari, a whiz in divination this year, grabbed Lily's arm and closed her eyes. "Girl, you got a boyfriend, didn't you?"  
Lily giggled and nodded. "James asked me out. He said he was sorry for being so distant and that he liked getting to know me." She twirled around before throwing herself onto a bed.  
Kari bit her lip. Something was strange here, but being unable to put her finger on the problem, she joined Alisa in hounding Lily for details.  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~8~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  


It had been just a rumor before, but now, the hearts and hopes of many girls who 'loved' James were being crushed. He had a steady girlfriend.  
They could be seen together almost all the time, Lily Evans, the quiet, pretty girl who had gotten Peter Pettigrew expelled, and James Potter, the most sought after boy in Hogwarts.  
Lily was always smiling now. She still couldn't believe her luck in snagging the boy she had always liked.  
One Friday, towards the end of November, James began to feel antsy to speed up his plan. Knowing he had to end everything soon, he worked out an idea that would hurt Lily to no end.  
James met her after the third class of the day. "Lily! Hey, do you want to have a picnic dinner tonight? The head boy, Dennis will let us use his room. What do you say?" He pouted.  
Lily smiled and hugged him. "That would be great."  
They parted, Lily going to her Defense Against the Dark Arts class, James, to the kitchens where he began arranging the date with the house elves.  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~8~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  


Lily pulled an outfit out of her armoire. "How about this one, Alisa?" She asked holding it to her body.  
Alisa looked at the black turtle neck sweater and calf length skirt. "No." She frowned.  
"Ok. How's this?" Lily tried again, pulling out jeans and a sweatshirt with a British Polo team logo stamped to the front.  
  
"Ugh! Do your outfits get more and more granny-like? This is supposed to be romantic!" She laughed. "You know, I think I may have just the thing." Then, mischievously, she opened her own closet.  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~8~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  


James hurried around the Head Boy's room, make last minute preparations. Everything had to be perfect!  
When he was satisfied, he made his way make to the Gryffindor common room which was almost empty, except for Lizzie who was sitting quietly on a red sofa.  
"James? I know what you're doing. Don't you feel guilty at all? It's not like she hasn't had it hard enough." She said quietly.  
James swallowed several emotions at once. "You?!? Well, I'm not doing anything, um, well, er. No one is supposed to know...oh! Um, how did you find out?" He whispered angrily.  
"Sirius told Remus, who told me." Lizzie answered simply.  
He was going to beat the shit out Sirius the next time he saw him. "Listen, Miss America. You should just stay out of stuff that's not your business."  
Lizzie glared and was about to rebut when Lily glided down from the stairs into the room, now thick with tension.  
James's mouth dropped open. Lily was beautiful. Alisa had lent her a pure white dress with thin straps. The top hugged her every curve and went smoothly down until the waist where it belled out ever so slightly, complementing Lily's small frame. The tight red ringlets that her hair normally held had been brushed out into soft waves.  
"Are you ready, James?" She asked, smiling nervously at his reaction.  
Blinking his eyes at her, he answered, "Uh, well, sure." Then finished by smiling stupidly.  
They walked down the hall to the head boy's room. Before he opened the door, James turned to Lily. "Ok, close your eyes. I want the room to be a surprise."  
Lily closed her eyes and let her boyfriend lead her into the space. Once he had placed her in the perfect spot, James told her to open her eyes.  
Sighing in awe, she looked around the room. Gleaming wood walls rose to meet a domed ceiling. Lying on the marble floor was a silky red sheet covered with food and surrounded by rose petals.  
"It's.....it's beautiful." Lily stammered.  
Chuckling, James led her to the silk sheet. "I got all of your favorite foods. If there is anything else that you want, just tell the plate and you'll have it. As if by magic!"  
Lily rolled her eyes and dug in. Within a half an hour, the food was gone.  
"James, I wanted to thank you for all this. It's wonderful. You....are wonderful." She leaned in and gave him a passionate kiss.  
Pulling her in closer, James ran his fingers through the soft red locks, and then ran his hands down to the small of her back. Working his mouth to Lily's neck, his hands began to pull at the straps on her shoulders.  
Suddenly, Lily's eyes shot open and she grabbed James's wrist. "What are you doing?" She asked nervously.  
"I want to make love to you, Lily." He answered slowly. "I will only do this if you want me to though." Then, reading her expression, he added, "I'm not like him."  
She closed her eyes, breathing deeply. She liked James, hell, she believed she loved him. What would be wrong with giving her body to him? An everlasting memory of their feelings.  
Swallowing all this, she opened her eyes towards the ceiling to hide her tears. "Ok."   
  


Ok. That was a choppy chapter, sorry about that! Anywho, I hope that you enjoyed it and I'll will try to write again soon.  
Doodles


	6. Jerks and Fools

We can pretend that I own the stuff you don't recognize, and then you can pay me to write!! Yes!  
Chapter 6 Jerks and Fools  
_"You light me up and then I fall for you. You lay me down and then I call for you. Stumbling on reasons that are far and few. I'd let it all come down and then some for you.  
Pretty baby, don't you leave me, I have been saving smiles for you. Pretty baby, why can't you see? You're the one that I belong to. I'll be the embrace _

_that__ keeps you warm, for you're the sun that breaks the storm. I'll be alright and I'll sleep sound, as long as you keep coming round."  
  
_

James woke that Saturday morning lying on the floor. Not remembering where he was, he almost bolted from under the satin blanket. It was a good thing that he looked around before doing so, because the first thing he noticed was Lily's head lying on his chest, red ringlets sprawled everywhere.  
Her lips were curled in a small smile and her body fit next to his perfectly, as if meant to be.  
"It's too bad it's about to end," James thought. "I could really get used to this." But as the thought went through his head, he wanted to get rid of it. The relationship would not, could not work.  
"Lily...Lily, we should go to breakfast." James shook her gently.  
Sleepily she opened her eyes. "Good morning." Lily murmured. Wrapping the sheet around herself, she pulled on her clothes. Then, after running her fingers through her hair, Lily kissed James on the cheek. "I'll see at the Three Broomsticks later, okay?" She whispered, climbing through the portrait hole.  
  


^^^^  
  


Remus jogged up to his girlfriend who was standing in the Great Hall. "Hey! Lizzie, there is a Hogsmeade trip today, do you want to go?"  
Looking distracted, Lizzie ran her hand over the pony-tail her hair was in. "Um, yeah, sure. Have you seen Lily or James lately?"  
Remus looked into her eyes, which seemed clouded with worry and anger. "No...I think they, err, spent the night together." He replied, blushing slightly. "Let's go to Hogsmeade, maybe they're there."  
Lizzie smiled. "Okay." They headed out the door and down the path to the small village of Hogsmeade. Remus went to Zonko's to buy some prank devices while Lizzie decided to look through the many robe shops in town.  
In Madame Cyrus's Robes for Any Occasion, Lizzie found Lily buying a pale blue outfit.  
"Lily! There you are!" She cried. "Can I talk to you about something?"  
Lily smiled at her friend. "Sure, what's up?"  
Lizzie looked at the floor, suddenly becoming nervous. "I think...I know that James, well, is using you. Sort of." Then, she looked at Lily with pleading eyes.  
Lily felt her features tense. "I don't think so. I know, I know, he used to be flaky. But, I truly think he cares. He's a changed man. Now, if you excuse me, I have to meet James at the Three Broomsticks."  
Walking from the clothing store, she couldn't believe what Lizzie was suggesting. It was ludicrous! Lily bit her lip. She would apologize for walking out on her friend later, once she was calmer.  
Suddenly, a pair of gloved hands grabbed Lily from behind, covering her mouth as the owner dragged her into an alley.  
Kicking violently, she felt her foot hit the attacker. Then, turning around, she caught the man's eyes.  
Peter.  
"What the hell are you doing here?" Lily yelled angrily, her hands balling into fists, prepared to fight.  
"I'm only here to warn you, flower. You got me expelled. Just like a little pig, you squealed. That pisses me off. I've got contacts now, dear, and you can bet they are dangerous ones. Just remember to keep one eye watching behind you, because when you least expect it...I'll get you." And he disappeared with a wave of his black cloak.  
Shaking, Lily made her way out of the alley, her thoughts else where. But before she got too far, she ran into James, who was walking towards the Three Broomsticks.  
"Lily! There you are! Listen, we got to talk..." He looked at her face, which was a deathly pale color. "What's wrong?"  
Opening her green eyes wide, she answered in a high, squeaky voice. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing!" Then, she plastered on a huge fake smile.  
James shrugged. "Okay. Listen Lily, I really liked being your boyfriend, but I don't think its working. We should break up." He said abruptly.  
At that, Lily snapped out of the half daze she had been in. Was James breaking up with her? This wasn't happening! "What?" Her voice was pained. "But, why?" Tears began to run down her cheeks.  
"Oh, I don't know. I just don't feel like its functioning. Listen, I'm really sorry, I got to meet Bella. It was fun!" James strode away to meet Arabella Figg, Lily's biggest enemy.  
Lily stared at his retreating back. Lizzie had been right, he used her. She was just another one of the girls that he pretended to care about before. One of the girls whose ego he boosted before grinding in beneath his heel. And she, a smart young woman, had fallen for it. Lily almost began laughing. She was a fool!  
She ran all the way back to Hogwarts, the whole time halfway between tears and laughter. When she arrived in the common room, Lily saw Alisa lounging on the couch in front of the fire.  
Collapsing beside her, Lily laughed out, "James Potter is a jerk, and I am a fool!"  
Alisa, utterly bewildered, looked at her friend in surprise. "Um, what?"  
"He used me, completely used me, and I didn't, couldn't, see through him. Alisa, he broke up with me. I was so happy!" Lily explained, breaking out in tears.  
"Oh, Lily!" Alisa gave her friend a hug. "You were only half way right, James is a jerk, but you are not a fool. You liked him and who, in your position, could see around that?" She said quietly.  
Lily looked at the fire. "Do you really believe that?"  
"I do. I really do." Alisa answered.  
Lily's face changed suddenly from sadness to fear. "I just remembered something! When I was in Hogsmeade, I was about to go meet James when someone attacked me. It was Peter. He said he was warning me that he was going to get me."  
"Lily, are you serious?" Fear working its way into Alisa's voice.  
Nodding, Lily looked fearful. "We should talk to Professor Dumbledore."  
  


^^^^  
  


*Dream Sequence*  
  
"This is Peter's doing!" Lily screamed, clutching something. "Because of you, everything is ruined! I should never have let you tell anyone, because if you didn't, we wouldn't be hiding! You are such a jackass! And what about this?" Lily handed the object in her arms to a man. "Don't you even care?"  
The man stared at the item. "What would you have done if you were me? Would you rather I hadn't said anything, so he could continue to abuse you? Lily, damn it! Think about it, would you? And, what? Do you imagine that I asked for this?" He gestured at the small entity in his hands. "It screwed up my life as much as it did to yours."  
Lily was in tears at this point. "I know, I know. I'm sorry."  
Another man, an older gentleman, entered the room. "Pardon me, you two. I have some interesting news and an even more interesting proposition."  
  
*End Dream Sequence*  
Kari woke up in a cold sweat. Her dream had seemed so real. But no, she looked around; she was still in the girl's dormitory. She saw Lily in the bed next to her, sleeping with a frown.  
Still, Kari had to try to shake the feeling that the dream was real. Maybe she was seeing the future for Lily. Rubbing her forehead, she decided to see Professor Dumbledore first thing tomorrow morning.  
  


^^^^  
  


The next day, Kari woke before anyone else. Quietly, she got dressed and made her way to the Headmasters' office. Once there, she took several deep breaths and knocked on the large wooden doors.  
After a few minutes, they opened slowly, revealing Professor Dumbledore in his large oval office. "Miss Beckman. How can I help you?" He asked, motioning her into the room.  
Kari sat in one of the chairs opposite Dumbledores' desk. "I had a dream last night; I think it's a vision." She explained the reverie. "It seemed so real. What do you think it is?"  
Dumbledor leaned on the desk, placing his head on the tips of his fingers. "It may be a real vision. I suppose only time will tell. Just be sure to watch out for her, for if this vision proves to be true, she may very well be in danger. Lily and Alisa came in here yesterday, claiming that Peter is or at least was in Hogsmeade and attacked Miss Evans. Yes, yes, watch out for her."  
Kari looked at the floor to hide the fear in her eyes. "Yes, sir. I will do that. Thank you." Dumbledore excused her and she left for breakfast, still soaking in the news that she might have seen the less than satisfactory future of her friend. She couldn't help being afraid.  
  


^^^^  
  


Ok! How was that? James is such a jerk!!!!!! This was probably an awful chapter on account that I had writers block REALLY bad! The whole dream sequence will be explained later, but truthfully, I have no idea where it came from! I was not paying attention to what my fingers where doing and suddenly it was on the screen. I hope that it will liven up the future plot, though.  
  
Coming in the next chapter: Probably one of the biggest unexpected things yet. Stay tuned kids!  
Doodles!  
OH! I almost forgot...The song at the top is Vanessa Carlton's "Pretty Baby".  
And thank you to everyone who reviewed! You rock! The rest of you who didn't...You suck unless you decide to review now, in which case you WILL rock. So, just take a couple minutes from your busy day to boost my ego or crush it with your fist as you flame me within an inch of my life. Thank you.


	7. Homeward

Here's the deal; if you recognize it, I don't own it. If you DON'T recognize it, I do own it. Okay?  
Chapter 7 Homeward  
  


_*In the arms of the angel, Far away from here. In this dark, cold hotel room, And the endlessness that you fear. You were pulled from the wreckage Of your silent reverie. And in the arms of the angel, May you find some comfort here.*_

  
The Christmas holidays came quickly, and Lily, whether from school work or her recent break-up, was tired. So, without a second thought, she signed onto the list of students going home.  
On December 20, she finished packing her bags, said good-bye to her friends, and boarded the train with few other people. Lily couldn't wait to get home to her mom, Rosalie Evans, her dad, Jayson Evans, and finally, her sister, Petunia Evans. They were all muggles and enjoyed seeing her and the magic tricks.  
At last, the Hogwarts Express pulled into the station and Lily stepped through the barrier.  
"Lily! Lily! There you are! Have you got all of your belongings?" Called out a smiling Petunia.  
"'Tuna! Yes, I've got all my things! How are you? Did Mum and Dad come?" Lily hugged her sister.  
Pushing the cart, Petunia explained that Rosalie and Jayson were at home, cleaning, and then went on to gossip about everything that had happened since September. "And, Lily, you remember Linda, right? And Timothy? Well, they were married early October. It was a wonderful ceremony. Oh! Our neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Godfrey split up. Something about communication. Ah! Here is my car!" She babbled on the entire car ride, barely letting Lily get a word in edgewise.  
Eventually, they arrived at moderately large mansion that belonged to the Evans family. It was three stories tall and made of large, white bricks and shining French style windows. A flowering garden seemed to guard the path leading the front door. As the car stopped, that very entrance opened and a smiling woman with silky, red hair stepped out. "Lily, darling!"  
"Mum! How are you?!" Lily yelled from the car, and then seeing a tall man with dancing, green eyes, she called out, "Daddy!"  
"Ah! There's my little girl, how was your trip?" He asked, hugging Lily.  
"It was fine, thanks! Will you help with the trunk?" She answered, lugging her heavy belongings behind her.  
Jayson laughed and grabbed the opposite end, and together they struggled with it all the way to Lily's room, on the second floor.  
"My, my! What have you got in there, Lillian?" Her father asked, mopping his brow.  
"If I tell you, you won't be surprised for Christmas." Giggled Lily.  
Jayson chuckled and the made their way to the dining room, where dinner was being served.  
  


^^^^  
  


Christmas came and went. On the third day before Lily was to go back to school, Rosalie called her into the living room.  
"Lily, dear, if you are not planning to anything shortly, would you please run to the store with Petunia and pick out some veggies for dinner? You know how your sister is about choosing ripe vegetables." She asked.  
Lily nodded, chuckling at the memory, and called Petunia down to the car.  
They finished at the grocery store quickly and decided to go clothes shopping since they had extra time.  
"Oh, 'Tuna, try on this dress!" Cried Lily, holding up a lavender spring outfit that would complement Petunia's tall body.  
"Lillian, my dear sister, as long it's a size 9, anything from here will fit me." She laughed. "But I do like it. Let's get it and then head home."  
They spent the ride home talking happily about Petunia's new boyfriend, Vernon, who had proposed and been turned down.  
"Maybe I'll marry him someday." Mused Petunia, as they pulled into the driveway. "But, I don't know, I guess I just wasn't ready. Oh my God. What's happened?"  
The once beautiful white stone was blackened, as if by smoke, and the roof appeared to be crumbling in. The most startling thing, though, was the constellation above the mansion, depicting a skull with a snake protruding from its mouth.  
Lily suddenly remembered something that one of the professors had said. Something about a cult of murderers who left that very mark above the houses of their victims.  
"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! We've got to find Mum and Dad!" She cried, running into the ruined house.  
Inside, chairs and drawers were strewn around haphazardly throughout the home. Lily climbed carefully over the objects and made her way into the living room, where she had last seen her parents.  
There, lying side by side on the floor, Rosalie and Jayson Evans were dead.  
"Mum! Daddy!" Lily screamed, shaking their lifeless bodies. The eyes of the deceased were open in terror and their bodies still warm, though no pulse could be found.  
Petunia rushed into the room. "Oh my God. Mum...Dad." Her gaze shifted from her parents to Lily, who was kneeling on the floor, sobbing. "You. If you weren't the...the freak you are, they wouldn't be dead! Some those weirdoes in your world did this! They killed our parents! It's all your fault! Get away from them, get away from this house, and get away from me! Just, stay away!" She shrieked at Lily.  
"What?" Breathed Lily, shocked out of crying.  
"This is your fault. Pack your things and get out." Replied Petunia, ice dripping from each word.  
Collecting her things, Lily had no idea where to go, unless...she grabbed the jar of floo powder in her trunk, threw some into the fireplace in the room, and arrived at Kari's house.  
The small room was empty, with the exception of a couple of chairs and a table. Kari had not grown up in the lavish lifestyle Lily was used to. All though her mother and father were part of the wizard world, an advantage of sorts.  
Suddenly, a door on the opposite wall opened revealing a woman with textured black hair, black-brown eyes, and light brown skin. She turned on the light and saw Lily standing in the fireplace.  
"Who are you?" She shouted, taking a step back.  
Lily had difficulty finding her voice, and it cracked as she spoke. "I'm...I'm Lily Evans, a friend of Kari's. I know that she is still at Hogwarts but my parents were just killed and I needed somewhere to stay." Once again she burst into tears.  
Kari's mom's face softened, "Voldemort, my dear?" She asked gently. "Did you have a skull constellation above your house?"  
Lily nodded as she remembered the sight. The horrible, magnificent scene, a sickening green aura around it. "Is that who did this?" She asked.  
Nodding, the woman stooped over Lily. "Listen, my name Charlotte. You need some sleep. Don't worry; we'll owl Dumbledore in the morning. I'll give you a mild sleeping potion in the meantime."  
  


^^^^  
  


Lily woke at daybreak the next day in an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar house, with an unfamiliar lady standing over her.  
"Lily? Oh, good, you're awake. I've just received a letter from Dumbledore. I'm sorry, but I decided to owl him last night instead. Anyway, he would like you to come back to Hogwarts immediately...he has something that he would like to talk to you about, I think. As soon as you are dressed and fed, I'll escort you there, okay?" The woman said.  
The events of last night flooded Lily's mind as she remembered her surroundings. The woman was Charlotte. Her parents were gone.  
Stepping out of bed slowly, she pulled on clothes without even looking at them. At this point, Lily was beyond tears. Nothing could express her grief.  
An hour later, Charlotte and Lily stepped into the fireplace and with a whirl fell into Professor Dumbledores office.  
"Ah, Mrs. Beckman, Miss Evans. I am so sorry to hear of last night's proceedings, Lily. Your parents were honorable people. Now, I wanted you back at Hogwarts right away because, unfortunately, you were not the only one in the school to loose their family to Voldemort. Shortly, we will be joined by Sirius Black; who as you may know, lost his parents last year, Remus Lupin; same time, Arabella Figg; she lost her kin two weeks ago, and Mundungus Fletcher; a fifth year whose family was killed three nights ago." Dumbledore informed Lily.  
Lily had no idea actually that Remus and Sirius had lost their relations to Voldemort, only that they lived mostly with James.  
In the midst of her thought, the door to the office opened and the four aforementioned people entered.  
"Lily, you're back!" Noted Sirius. Then noticing her fallen face, he changed his tone. "What's happened?"  
Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, Miss Figg, and Mr. Fletcher, please have a seat. I have gathered you all here under the express wish of the ministry. You have all suffered a loss that most fear, the death of your family from the wand of Lord Voldemort, himself. A few of you, though it may be unlikely, may want revenge. In that case, the ministry wants me to warn you that you can do nothing. But they also want me to say that if you would all like to band together, you can form a group that can train to become Aurors someday, a special kind that solves the mysteries of this cult, instead of fighting them. The only condition is that you will have to work together in the future, after you've graduated. I will give each of you two weeks to think this through and get back to me. You are excused."  
Lily looked cautiously around her and got up. An Auror, a good job in which she might be able to avenge the death of her parents, get back under Petunia's good graces. The thought was enticing and Lily knew that unless unforeseen forces took hold, she would accept the offer.  
Outside of the office, Remus and Sirius were waiting for her.  
They looked at the floor as Sirius spoke. "Hey Lily. I'm so sorry, I know how it feels to come to your house and see your parents just....just lying there and the dark mark in the sky." His gaze shifted to the ceiling as he had to blink back tears.  
Remus gave Lily a quick hug. "It's horrible, isn't it?" He asked. She flinched at his touch, still wary of men, but then nodded, smiling sadly.  
"Hey, let's go back to the common room, I'm sure Alisa and Kari will be really happy to see you." Said Sirius, motioning down the hall.  
  


^^^^  
  


A week later, Lily and her friends found themselves sitting in Charms class. Today Professor Flitwick was teaching the group of pupils to enchant a rock into speaking.  
"Remember, class. The words are 'metamotermouth toa rock'. Pronounced; META-moter-mouth TOA rock'. Okay, begin."  
Kari, Alisa, and Lily all looked dumbly at their rock. Finally, skeptically, Alisa raised her wand.  
"Meta-MOTER-mouth toa rock!" She cried, bringing her wand to the stone quickly.  
Nothing.  
"Let me try." Smiled Lily. "META-moter-mouth TOA rock!" She shouted swirling her wand lightly above the small stone.  
Suddenly a little voice piped up. "Cheerio, ladies!" The rock murmured heavily. "Anything that I can do for you?"  
Exchanging glances, the girls congratulated Lily. "Wow! I can't believe you could do it!" They all exclaimed.  
Lily tried to smile and join in the celebration but a sickness overwhelming her was too much to bear.  
Alisa was the first to notice the pained expression her friend was wearing. "Lily, you should be happy, I couldn't make the damn rock do anything. (*"Hey, who are you calling a damn rock!" The stone shouted.*) What's wrong?"  
The room seemed to be spinning as Lily managed to speak, "I don't feel so goo.." before passing out.  
^^^^  
Lily woke a few hours later in the hospital ward, the sickness was gone, but now her head throbbed with an obnoxious headache.  
"Ah, Miss Evans, you're awake." Madam Glencoe muttered almost too gently. "How are you feeling today? Any better?"  
Lily looked at the nurse suspiciously. "Oh, um, I'm better, except for this headache."  
Madam Glencoe nodded, smiling. "Good! Now, if you would please sit here for a couple of minutes, I believe that Professor McGonagall would like to speak to you."  
Lily sank back into the soft pillow. What was wrong with her? Was something serious happening? Or did McGonagall want to see her for other reasons?  
All too soon, the rustling of the Professors robe could be heard. "Good day, Miss Evans. I would like to talk to you about your condition. I've heard that you weren't feeling well earlier and passed out. When you were sleeping, we ran a few tests on you to see what could be the reason for this sudden ailment. You tested negative for a simple cold, the flu, just about everything, until we tried something on a whim. Now, you probably won't be too happy with the problem, especially since the recent death of your parents. I am very sorry to hear about that, by the way. As for your illness, I'm afraid that you won't be rid of it for a long while. Miss Evans, I regret to inform you that...that you are going to have a child. You are pregnant."  
Lily listened to this unexpected speech before once again, fainting.  
  


Oh my goodness! Can you believe that? Tee hee hee. Well, how was that kiddies? This story just gets more and more confusing! But I hope that it's good at the same time.  
Anyhow, thank you for reviewing, you know who you are! I love you all. Your thoughts and opinions truly are very important to me.  
Well, got to make like a banana and put this on the web site. Wait a second. I got to split. That's it.


	8. The Deal

I own nothing and nothing I own.  
Chapter 8 The Deal  
  


The next morning Lily woke up with a vague, groggy thought in her in head.  _I'm pregnant._  
The very idea, once bounced around in her head, was nonsensical and so Lily decided that it must be a dream. Yes, that was it. A dream.  
But then, why was she lying in the infirmary bed? At that moment, Madame Glencoe wafted cheerfully into the room.  
"Feeling any better, my dear?" The nurse asked quietly.  
Lily smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I don't really remember why I am in here, but I don't feel ill."  
Madame Glencoe's sunny face suddenly frowned. "You don't remember? Well, my dear child, because that's hardly what you are, you are going to have a baby, now do you remember?"  
Lily's face paled. "I thought that was a dream."  
"I'm sorry, dear, no. I have a quick question for you, from Dumbledore. Do you happen to know who the father of this child is?"  
Calculating in her head, Lily decided that the father couldn't be Peter. The only other option was..  
"James Potter."  
Raising her eyebrows, Madame Glencoe, nodded. "Very well. Now, if you would please get dressed. You are expected at breakfast."  
Slowly, Lily got dressed. As she pulled on her pants, she looked at her stomach; a little life was inside of her. She was no longer Lillian Evans; she was Lillian Evans and child. There were now two people to take care for.  
As Lily emerged from behind the dressing screen, Madame Glencoe shuffled up to her, carrying a small, green vial.  
"This, Miss Evans, will prevent anymore morning sickness, such as yesterday. Just take one tablespoon every day at sunup. Do you understand?"  
Lily nodded solemnly before grasping the bottle and leaving the hospital ward.  
Once she reached the Great Hall, Alisa, Kari, and Lizzie all looked towards her, wanting to know about her condition.  
"How are you feeling?" Lizzie cried, as Lily walked slowly to the table where her friends sat.  
Lily's eyes clouded with uncertainty. "Can you guys keep a secret? A big one?" Exchanging glances, her friends nodded soberly. "I spent that one night with James, and now…now I'm pregnant." Her voice cracked as she burst into tears.  
Kari looked at Alisa, whose mouth was hanging open, Alisa looked at Lizzie, who looked as if someone had hit her over the head, Lizzie, in turn, looked at Kari, who was doing nothing but staring at her friends.  
Finally, Lily broke the silence, wiping a couple of tears from her eyes. "Have any of you seen James? I think that he should hear this from me, sooner rather than later."  
Everyone jumped back to life. "I think he was taking his new girlfriend, Jennifer, to the common room." Alisa hastily replied, her eyes cast at the stone floor.  
Fighting the small voice in her head telling her to leave well enough alone, Lily nodded and made her way to the Gryfindor common room, now empty because of breakfast except for a couple in the corner of the room, kissing with an air that clearly said, "DO NOT DISTURB!"  
Seeing this, Lily almost turned away, but she knew that she would have to say it sometime and took a deep breath.  
"Um, James...excuse me? Can I talk to you for just a second?" She asked quietly.  
At the sound of her voice, James turned to look at Lily.  
Looking amused, he answered sarcastically, "Sure, Lily, what can I do for you?" Then, he turned smiling to his flavor of the week.  
Lily's face burned. "Well, could I speak to you...alone?" She was wringing her hands now.  
Jennifer, known around the school as being a total bitch, smiled evilly. "Anything you want to say to him, you can say in front of me. I know you probably want him badly still, but he's mine now, so, uh, go run along and play with your little friends."  
Suddenly, the stress of everything took over Lily, and she snapped. "Back off bitch," she said coldly, "James, you won't want to hear this but, I'm pregnant, and it's your baby. Dumbledore will probably want to talk to you soon." Then turning towards Jennifer, she added, "And even though I won't back off now, there is no way in hell that I would ever want to be with, let alone touch James again. He's all yours, slut." She turned on her heel and marched from the room.  
Jennifer looked at James in disgust. "You got her pregnant? I can't believe that! This is over; I never want to see you again. And you can bet I'll be warning all the other girls. Ugh!"  
James stared at her retreating back. He, for the first time in his life had been dumped. And Lily, a one night stand, someone that he had wanted to keep away from him, was going to have his child. He knew that he wanted to be a father some day, but now? He was only 17, for God's sake! Lily was only 16; her birthday hadn't even come yet. How good of parents could they possibly be? They didn't even like each other.  
He should have been more careful, this could have been prevented.  
"Damn it!" James cursed loudly, slamming his fist on the ground. "It wasn't part of the plan!"  
  


^^^^  
  


Lily was constantly hungry now, with a baby growing inside her. True to her wishes Dumbledore, along with Alisa, Kari, and Lizzie had kept the pregnancy a secret.  
_One day, not a week later, Lily was on her way to potions when an owl wheeled in from a window, and dropped a note on her head.  
 Miss Evans, please come up to my office as soon as possible.  Thank you very much, Dumbledore._  
Figuring that right then was as good a time as any, Lily turned around and headed for the gargoyle that guarded the Dumbledores headquarters.  
Giving it the password, ("Sugar Quill!") she opened the office door and walked into the extravagant room.  
"Ah, Miss Evans, please, sit down next to Mr. Potter." Dumbledore motioned to an empty chair next to the raven-haired boy.  
Lily glared at the floor as she sat. She didn't want to have anything to do with James, who looked apprehensive.  
Clearing his throat, Dumbledore began. "I know that this pregnancy must be very hard. Neither of you, I'm sure, asked for it. However, you must remain strong, because harder times lie ahead. You are no longer seeing each other, but, unfortunately, wizarding laws say that for one year after the birth of the child, its underage parents must remain together. They unfortunately have to be married during that time, and furthermore, they must reside in the same house."  
Lily's mouth fell open as she and James exchanged looks of pure venom.  
"I cannot live with him!" She cried despairingly. "Please, can't you say anything to the ministry?"  
James looked angry and sad at the same time. "Hey! I'm not that bad! Besides, I don't want to live with you anymore than you want to be with me!"  
Dumbledore held up a hand. "Quiet! Calm down, both of you! No, Miss Evans, there is nothing I can do to help. For the time being, try to come to an agreement, and get along!" His voice was almost pleading.  
"Fine! Fine! Just…Urgh!" Yelled Lilly, throwing her hands into the air as she stormed from the room.  
James placed his head into his hands. "How am I supposed to live with that?"  
  


^^^^  
  


The next day, Saturday, Lily was walking down to the library when a hand grabbed her and pulled her into a classroom. She, understandably panicked, as flash-backs of her rape came flooding back.  
"Please! Don't hurt me, I'm not worth it!" She cried out, her eyes squeezed shut.  
There was an audibly sigh. "Relax, Evans. It's just me. I want to talk to you."  
Lily opened her eyes only to see James standing in front of her. Her faced hardened. "Oh. What do you want?"  
James rolled his eyes. "Come off it! I really think that we should, at least try to get along. We don't even have to be friends. I mean, can't we just me...civil?"  
Lily turned away, her arms crossed against her chest.  
He tried again. "Please? We should try; we are going to have to be married for a year. We might as well be nice to each other."  
Tumbling it in her brain, Lily turned around. Taking a deep breath, she answered. "Fine. I suppose you're right. We'll be..politely civil." Then, she held out her hand to seal the deal. James took it and they shook.  
No need to explain the plan  
_No need to even bother  
  
_

_I'll pack my bags, I swear I'll run-wish my friends were 21  
You don't belong, you left the kids to carry on  
You planned their fall  
Too bad you're wrong, don't need a mom dad slave drive song  
I time bomb_  
  


Ok! That was possibly the worst chapter? I'm trying not to rush things, but it's hard because She has to be pregnant for awhile longer… ZzZzZzZz!  
  
Oh, well! I hope ya'll enjoyed it anyway.  
The last paragraph was Anthem, by Blink-182.  
Well, that's all. (*Sends a subliminal message* REVIEW) I'll write again really soon. (REVIEW) The story should get a little more interesting, and maybe a little more R rated. (REVIEW) Maybe. Talk to you soon. (REVIEW)  
Oh, by the way, please review.  
love doodles.  
  
__


	9. Sparks and Love

Disclaimer: I think you get the idea  
Chapter 9 Sparks and Love  
  


At dinner that Saturday night, Lizzie, Alisa, Kari, Sirius, and Remus watched in wonder as Lily and James sat at THE SAME TABLE without biting each others heads off or leaving the great hall in a huff.  
Alisa raised her eyebrows and leaned over to Sirius. "Um, do you see something wrong with this picture?" She whispered.  
Sirius looked at Lily and James and nodded. "Oh, yeah."  
The dinner passed slowly, without much conversation. Lily and James were standing each other, but they weren't necessarily being friendly, or anything.  
  


^^^^  
  


Monday night found Sirius in the commons, trying to figure out the extremely complicated charms homework.  
"When changing and light bulb into a bird, the equation is 9x²÷¾(9ª). Please simplify and solve. Also, write out the magic words, as well as which syllables are accentuated." He read to himself. "What????"  
Alisa wandered into the room, looking for her Defense Against the Dark Arts book.  
Seeing her, Sirius's face lit up, she was exceptionally good at Charms. "Alisa! Do you think that you could help me with the Charms homework? Please?!"  
She blushed slightly. (A/N: Remember, she likes him!) "Of course."  
Alisa sat on the sofa next to Sirius, their knees touching a little. "Ok, this charm? Remember, we learned about it a few days ago. Remember? X equals 24..."  
Throughout the lesson, Sirius began to find very difficult to concentrate. He had never noticed how pretty Alisa was before, and there she was leaning into him, her leg touching his knee.  
"So, to figure this out, square the number right there..." He heard her say, vaguely.  
Without warning, he cupped her face in his hands, kissing her long and gently on the lips.  
  


^^^^  
  


Lizzie and Remus sat in the empty boys' dorm, talking about school, family...life.  
Remus couldn't believe his good luck in being able to get and keep a girl that he really liked, well, actually, loved. She was everything that he wanted. Smart, pretty, and honest.  
He kissed her softly.  
"What was that for?" Lizzie asked, smiling.  
Turning away, Remus answered quietly, "You're going to think I'm really stupid for this, but I wanted to tell you that...that I think I love you. I hope you feel the same way."  
Lizzie smiled. Turning his face toward her, she kissed him. "I love you too."  
"Really?" Remus asked happily before kissing her passionately.  
Lizzie pulled his shirt off, revealing a sculpted stomach and chest. "I love you so much." She whispered. "I never want to be with anyone else."  
He smiled, unbuttoning her shirt. Then, he tenderly kissed her neck and stomach. "Wait a minute." Remus said, pulling the curtains around them and whispering a silencing spell.  
  


^^^^  
  


Lily sat in her room, trying to pull on the jeans that had fit her last week. The bulge in her belly was almost evident now, and she could definitely feel it when she tried to pull on pants.  
"They...just...won't...fit!" She panted as Alisa walked into the room. Then she threw her arms up in the air and fell on to the bed. "I give up!"  
Alisa smiled shyly. "Lily, you'll never guess what just happened. I was helping Sirius with his Transfiguration homework, and he KISSED me! Just out of no where, and then he said, 'We should go to Hogsmeade together next weekend.' Can you believe it?!" She squealed with delight before mimicking Lily and falling on to the bed.  
"I'm really happy for you Alisa. Just don't get hurt." Lily warned.  
Alisa rolled her eyes. "He's not like James, ok? He's not going to use me and abuse me." She said sharply.  
Lily sat up. "Maybe, maybe not. I'm just saying, be careful. I want you to be happy.'  
Once again, Alisa rolled her eyes. "Of course I'm going to be happy! I've liked him, for, I don't know, EVER! Besides, I promise you, if he hurts me or cheats on me or uses me as a one night stand, I'll kick his ass. Ok? Anyway, enough about me, how are you feeling?"  
"Oh, you know. It's hard not being able to fit into any of these small pants anymore. But other than that, I'm feeling really good. I have to go see Madam Glencoe tomorrow though, so she can hide the, err, bump in my stomach, and tell me whether it's a boy or a girl."  
Alisa smiled. "Well, that's good. I'm really glad that you are feeling better. I can also insure you that we are so happy that you and James aren't being TOTALLY horrible to each other anymore. *Yawn* Hey, well, I'm tired; I'm going to go to sleep now. See you in the morning?"  
Lily nodded and yawned. She was pretty tired too. Just as she was closing her eyes, she saw Kari walk in. That girl always stayed out too late!  
The truth was, Kari had been in the library studying for hours and she was dead tired. Quietly, as not to disturb the others, she crept into bed and soon fell asleep.  
*Dream Sequence*  
A man paced the room. "So, you're saying that if we choose him, the one guy that no one can trust, we'll be safe?"  
Behind a desk, an older man rose. "I'm saying it's worth a try. It appears that he was under a curse the entire time, even in school. Now that he was able to break it, he would be the most trustworthy person around. Other people might let something slip to an innocent stranger, which spells danger."  
Lily could now be seen carrying the same small object she had held in the last dream. "I only want what would be safe for everyone, especially now, (she held up the small thing.) If you think this is the best plan of action, than I agree. You know best." Her face seemed clouded with anger and worry. "I just don't know why he would want us. I don't have anything very special. Neither of us does."  
"Lily, my dear. It is because of your job. You found many secrets. You're now a threat to his well being and he lost many good people to you." The older man answered.  
Suddenly the 1st man jumped up. "See Lily? I told you not to keep up with that stupid job! But you wouldn't listen. Now we are going to be dead!"  
*End Dream Sequence*  
Kari woke with a start. The last words echoing strangely through her head.  
"...Going to be DEAD...Dead! We are going to be dead!"  
She had to quickly clap her hand to her mouth, stifling a scream. Dumbledore had said that these dreams could be real. People would be killed. Lily would die.  
  


^^^^  
  


Remus and Lizzie lay side by side on the four poster bed. It was almost 3:00 in the morning and Remus noticed that his girlfriend was still awake, a troubled look in her eyes.  
"Hey babe, what's the matter?" He inquired gently, taking her hand in his.  
Rolling over to face him, she closed her eyes. "I'm just worried about a couple things. Well...I don't really know how to say it. Um, how do I know that you aren't like James? How do I know that you aren't going to dump me tomorrow? And, what if we end up in the same situation? I don't want to be pregnant."  
Remus was surprised to hear this. "First off, I just made love to the girl of my dreams; there is no way in hell that I would ever leave you. I won't dump you anytime soon, got it? Secondly, I am positive we were very careful. If you don't believe me, you can talk to the nurse tomorrow, confidentially. Ok?"  
"I love you." Lizzie whispered before falling asleep.  
  


_*All the small things*  
*True care truth brings*  
*I'll take one lift*  
*Your ride, best trip*  
*Always, I know*  
*You'll be at my show*  
*Watching, waiting, commiserating*  
*Say it ain't so, I will not go, turn the lights off, carry me home*  
*Late night, come home*  
*Works sucks, I know*  
*She left me roses by the stairs, surprises let me know she cares*  
  
_

^^^^  
  


Ah, wasn't that sweet? Sorry that it was so choppy and kind of stupid. I promise, I promise that SOMETIME SOON this will become more of a J/L fic. But, I'm sorry, it just can't happen yet! There will be some hot points. I don't know what will happen next so...If any of you lovely people would like to give me any ideas...*hint, hint* Hee hee hee, um, give me ideas, please, by reviewing or by e-mailing me at SoulPunk27@teenagedirtbag.com. OK?  
The song written above is Blink-182's All the Small Things.  
By the way, THANK YOU SO MUCH for reviewing, if you did! It totally brightened up my day. You are the BEST!!!!!!!!!  
Love Doodles


	10. Happy Valentines Day

Um, do I own anything? Let me check my pockets………Ok, I've got: 35 cents, and old note from my friend, the plot of this story, and a few characters. That's all.

Chapter 10

**Happy Valentines Day**

Lily stood in the hall, early one February morning. Her growing stomach wasn't evident to anyone but her, thanks to the wonderful potions of Madam Glencoe.

She looked down at her abdomen lazily. "What are you doing in there, little boy?" The nurse had told her in January the sex of the child, and ever since then, Lily and her friends were compiling a list of possible names which included: George, Kyle, Travis, Anthony, Brett, Harry, Robert and Scott. Those were all that Lily had approved of, anyway.

Over the last month, or so, everyone had learned not to upset Lily because, due to her hormonal state, the smallest comment would send her into tears.

At one time, Kari had asked her to help her choose an outfit for the next day to which Lily had burst out sobbing, "Why are you being so mean?! I know I'm fat, ok?!"

They had learned after that.

Lily looked away from her stomach, only to see Alisa running down the hall towards her. 

Lily! Lily, guess what! They are going to let us have a Valentine's Day Ball! Won't that be great?" She squealed.

Lily smiled happily. "Wow, they're letting us have a ball?"

"Yeah, for fifth years and up. But, well, that works for us though!" Alisa waved her hand impatiently. "Let's go to Hogsmeade tomorrow, it's a Saturday, and we can have a girl's day out."

Lily nodded her agreement and followed her friend to the Gryffindor common room. As soon as she sat beside the fire, a tall boy with light brown hair, blue eyes, and an enchanting smile approached her nervously.

"Um………Lily? Uh, hi! My name is err, Benji. I was wondering if you wanted to go the dance with me, maybe? If, you aren't already going with someone, that is." He asked, looking at his feet.

Lily bit her lip and smiled happily, she hadn't expected being asked by anyone. "Uh, sure. I'll meet you in the Great Hall at 7:00 next week, ok?

^^^^

The next day, Lily and Alisa made their way to the small town next to Hogwarts.

"Let's go to that new shop, uh, I think it's called Enchanted Fashions, or something. Anyway, it is supposed to be the best place to buy dress robes." Alisa said thoughtfully.

They quickly found the shop. A bell twinkled as they opened he door. Then, the two girls split up, each agreeing to meet again at the Three Broomsticks when they had bought their outfits.

Lily headed for the section that held white, blue, green and purple robes. Scanning through, she noticed that no two dresses were quite alike. After 10 minutes, Lily had chosen three robes; one white, one blue, and one green.

In the lush dressing room, she tried on each dress one by one. The potion that Madam Glencoe had given her made her appear even in mirrors as slim as always. Pulling on the green on, she found that it brought out her eyes, but failed to compliment anything else, then the blue outfit, ugh, that one was just ugly.

Finally, she slipped on the white one. Made of white satin, it was covered with an angelic, barely blue lace. The bottom cascaded softly to the floor and in the back a small train followed everywhere. Loose sleeves fell almost to her fingernails, the lace falling even further. It clung where it should and Lily's hair against it looked like red wine spilled on white silk, a beautiful contrast.

"Oh………" Lily breathed softly. "_This is it_." 

Her very skin glowed against it. Regretfully, she undressed and stepped into her regular clothes. And then, she carried the gown carefully to the cash register.

The attendant, an oily man with slicked black hair and a thin mustache, grinned evilly, seeing a girl who obviously loved the dress. "How may I help you, young lady?"

"Just this robe, please." She answered, handing it to him.

The employee looked at the price tag: 100 Galleons (A/N: spelling?) and 24 Sickles. "Ok, that will be 230 Galleons."

Lily's face contorted. "What? That wasn't the amount on the price tag."

The worker sighed and frowned. "Oh, I see. I must have made a mistake." He said in mock surprise.

Lily glared. "Of course you did."

After she paid the correct price, Lily marched out of the store and into the Three Broomsticks. Looking around the room she quickly saw Alisa sitting in the back with James, Sirius, and Kari, in front of them a large pitcher of butterbeer. 

"Oh! There you are Lily! Can I see the dress you picked out?" Alisa shrieked, reaching toward the large, plastic bag.

Lily grabbed her hand. "No way! You have to wait until the dance!"

"Fine, you can't see mine either." Alisa replied huffily.

Lily laughed, shrugging and sat down. "So, you guys got dates?" She asked the other three.

Sirius and James nodded, each mentioning there dates. (James: a girl named Isabella; and Sirius: with his girlfriend, Alisa, of course.) But Kari shook her head. "I don't think that I am going to go." She said somewhat dejectedly.

Everyone murmured their unhappiness. The rest of the evening was quiet, James, Sirius, Lily, Alisa, and Kari, all in their private thoughts

^^^^

The rest of the time before the dance flew by and before they knew it, the girls were in their room getting ready.

"Where is my wand? I need to fix my make-up!" Someone yelled.

From the closet, another person shouted, "Has anyone seen my shoes? They're blue? Anyone?"

Everyone was in chaos, everyone except for Lily, that is. She was standing calmly in front of the mirror, already dressed, with a spell book open to a make-up and hair page

"Ok," She said quietly, "One………two………three, cosmotogious!"

Suddenly, light, expert make-up appeared on Lily's face, and her red ringlets were straightened and put into a half ponytail which fell half-way down her back.

With the beautiful white robes on, she looked like a fallen angel.

In the background the clock was striking 7:00. "Oh my gosh! I'm late!" Lily cried. Running into the dormitory, she saw Alisa lazily pulling on her shoes. "Alisa! It's seven, we're going to be tardy!" 

"What? Oh! Come on, let's go!" Alisa answered, looking at her clock.

They hurried out of the room and down to the Great Hall where Sirius and Benji were standing nervously next to each other.

Sirius took Alisa's hand and, handing her a red rose sparkling with glitter, told her she was gorgeous. And Alisa was, in a wonderful red dress that clung to her chest before flowing gracefully down to her ankles like a ballerina's dress. Adorning her feet were red, silk flats. 

Lily smiled, expecting her date to give her the same treatment. Instead, when she approached him, he handed her a white carnation, and looked over her shoulder expectantly. 

Leaning back on his heels, Benji stuffed his hands into his pockets and asked casually, "so, is your friend Kari coming tonight?"

Lily folded her arms and glared. "No, she is not." Her voice cut through the air.

Sirius turned away, whistling in disbelief.

Benji's face turned red. "Ok, then, want to head onto the dance floor?" 

Fire was dancing in Lily's eyes now. "You only asked me………to get to Kari, am I right?" Alisa turned away, the hormones were taking over. 

He stammered awkwardly. "Uh, well, no, I mean, it was just that, well, um……

Lily's eyes were barely slits now. Without warning, she slammed the carnation to the floor and turning on her heel, stormed back to the Gryffindor common room.

She managed not to cry the entire way there, but as soon as she reached the portrait, the tears overflowed.

She had gone through all that trouble for someone she had thought might actually like her, someone who would take her as she was. For the first time in months, she had been happy. Happy! What a joke, God didn't have happiness in plan for her life.

Sobbing as hard as she was, she didn't notice the portrait opening behind her.

"Lily………" A small voice whispered.

One last sob caught in Lily's throat as she turned quickly around. "Kari."

"Lily, what's wrong?" She asked soothingly. "What happened?"

"Benji, ugh, Benji, only wanted to go to the dance with me to………to get with you. He never liked me, never wanted to be at that, that damn dance with me. He only wanted you to be his girlfriend."

Kari furrowed her eyebrows. "Why did he do that? Why didn't he just ask me?"

"Ugh, I think everyone is just out to hurt me. I don't know what to do, Kari. I'm tired of everything."

Lily's friend hugged her. "Come on, girl, let's go inside, sit by the fire, chill, have some hot cocoa."

^^^^

'Ello! How are you all doing? That was the most I've ever written! 20 BORING windows pages. I haven't decided quite yet, but the story might become a bit angsty, soon. And have no fear, this will become a J/L fic as soon as she has the baby. Tee hee hee. 

So, remember if you have any ideas, leave me a review or e-mail me at SoulPunk27@teenagedirtbag.com.

Oh, and hint, hint. I will probably post quicker if my reviews increase a bit more………*Cough, cough* *Wink, wink*

Love 

Doodles


	11. When I'm Gone

Hey!  Don't sue!  I've got no money!  I admit!  I only own the plot!  By da way:  This is the LAST disclaimer!  So, pay attention!  I know you will miss them!

WARNING: This is the angsty chapter, so I must warn you that if blood or suicide freaks you out do not read this chapter, somewhat graphic.

Chapter 11

When I'm gone

          Lily tried to quiet her sobs that were preventing her from falling asleep.  The clock subtly glowed; 5:30 AM.  It had been a week since the dance and still, her life seemed to be crumbling in front of her eyes.

          She wanted out now, a free ticket to get away from her troubles.

_*Never thought I'd die alone.*_

_*I laughed the loudest, who'd of known?*_

          Lily's eyes shifted from the pillow to her small, pink razor sitting on the bedside table.  Closing her eyes, she imagined life without her.  Everyone would be happy, no more drama, no more sadness.  

          Sliding out of bed, she grabbed the blade and walked into the bathroom.  Should she leave a note?  Did it matter?  As Lily began filling the tub, she decided that she owed her friends that much.

_*Traced the cord back to the wall*_

_*No wonder, it was never plugged in at all*_

          Grabbing a small piece of parchment and a quill, she quickly scribbled a short note.  That was good, they would understand.  

          Lily pulled off her pajamas and stepped into the warm water.  Lying down, her budding stomach bobbed.  Her baby didn't need to grow up in this………hell hole.  He would never be exposed to the harsh glare of real life.

_*I took my time, I hurried up*_

_*The choice was mine, I didn't think enough.*_

          She grabbed the razor, and holding it firmly in her right hand, whispered, "God, forgive me for what I must do."  And then, she cut deep into the flesh of her wrist.

Moaning at the sight of the blood flowing into the water, Lily closed her eyes for a second.  Was it just her, or where the lights dimming?

_*I'm too depressed to go on*_

_*You'll be sorry when I'm gone*_

          Before she could change her mind, Lily slashed the other wrist and saw with the blood, the release of her stress, pain, and oh!  She felt so light.

          Minutes passed until, ashen faced, Lily passed out in the tub.

_*I never conquered, rarely came*_

_*16 just held such better days*_

_*Days when I still felt alive*_

_*We couldn't wait to get outside*_

_*The world was wide, too late to try*_

_*The tour was over, I'd survived*_

_*I couldn't wait to get home*_

_*To pass the time in my room alone*_

^^^^

          Kari woke thirty minutes later with an extreme feeling of dread and foreboding.  Something was wrong, very wrong.

          Trying to shrug off the lurking trepidation, she glanced at her watch, 6:35, time to take shower and go to breakfast.

          She traipsed into the bathroom, covering her yawn with her hand.  Finally, rubbing her eyes, she reached the bathtub.

          A nice, warm shower was all she needed to wake up, and so she reached over to turn on the water.  As Kari did that, her fingers skimmed the bath water.

          Bath water?

          She opened her eyes wide and with the sight she beheld, screamed louder than she had ever before. 

          Lily lay in the bloody water, her face white, her mouth slightly open.  A razor was sitting on the floor and on the side of the tub rested a small piece of parchment.

          Lizzie came running in.  "Kari, why are you screaming?  You woke every………"  She stopped when she looked at Lily.  "Oh my God.  Kari, go find Madame Glencoe!  I'm going to try to stop the bleeding."

          Kari nodded, tears clearly in her eyes.

          Lizzie walked over to the tub and held her wand above Lily's naked body.  "Wound Repairo!"  She yelled.

          A soft, yellow glow engulfed Lily and cuts on her wrists healed instantly.  Lizzie pulled her friend out of the water and covered her with a towel, as a large crowd had gathered in the lavatory.

          With the bleeding stopped, Lizzie decided that she could read the note.  She unfolded it and examined the shaky writing: "_God send me an angel, I love you all_."

          "Oh, Lily, why would you do this to us?"  She whispered.

          Finally, Kari rushed in with the nurse.

          Madame Glencoe wore a worried expression.  Examining Lily's tiny wrists, she murmured, "Lizzie, you did a good job closing the wounds.  Still, I will take her the infirmary to monitor her recovery."

          Magically, she lifted Lily on to a floating stretcher, then, with a flick of her wand, the nurse left the Gryffindor Tower, Lily floating beside her.

          Lizzie sank slowly to the floor, too numb with shock to cry.

^^^^

          Two days later, Lily opened her eyes and stared at the wood and stone ceiling above her.

          _"So this is heaven, or hell as it may be."_  She thought.

          "Oh, Lily, you're awake."  A female voice murmured.

          Lily didn't reply, thinking_.  "Ah, whoever it is, is a woman."_

          The female voice began speaking again.  "Here is your breakfast.  Your friends have been so worried."

          Lily opened her eyes. "My friends?"  She questioned.  Then, looking around, saw that she had not escaped life.  She was in the infirmary.  God was Madame Glencoe.  "What am I doing here?"  She yelled, infuriated.  

          The nurse smiled sadly.  "Why are any of us here?  Anyway, everyone was so concerned.  Luckily, your friend, Lizzie was able to save you.  You've been here for two days and I'll probably keep you for a few more, just to be safe.  Here is your breakfast, eat up and get plenty of rest, ok?"

          Lily stared dumbly into the cheerful meal of oatmeal, buttered toast and orange juice.  She needed sad food, comfort food.  Throwing herself back on to the pillow, Lily felt tears welling up in her eyes.  She was feeling a bizarre combination of sadness and relief.

          The hospital door slowly opened just then and timidly, Lizzie, Kari, Alisa, Sirius, James, and Remus walked into the room.

          "Lily!  You're awake, finally!"  Screamed Kari, as the three girls came running towards the sickbay bed, arms outstretched.

          The patient flinched and held out her hand.  "Please, guys don't come any closer.  I don't know whether to curse you or thank you at this point."  Her eyes were closed in desperation.  

          They stopped dead in their tracks.  Exchanging glances, each one, including the boys, pulled out a lumpy package from their bags.  Remus began quietly.  "Ok, well, we brought you some treats from Hogsmeade.  Chocolate and stuff."

          Lily smiled.  "I'm…really sorry.  Thank you all so much.  Just give me some time, and I'll come around."

          Alisa's face lightened a little.  "Lily, why would you do this to yourself?  Why would you do that to us?"  She asked quietly.  "We all love you so much."

          "I... I really don't know, I just couldn't take anything.  The rape, the threats, my parents death, my sister, the dance,...James."  She glanced at him apologeticaly.  It over whelmed me, and I could see life without me.  I'm so sorry."  She burst into sobs.

          Madame Glencoe bustled in.  "Out!  Out!  All of you now!  You are upsetting my patient."

          They all filed away.  Lizzie turned at the last minute.  "I'm glad you're alive, Lily."

^*^^

          Hey people!  Sorry about that chapter, it kind of sucked, but ya know, Lily has to get over a few hurdles.  The rest of the time of the pregnancy will probably go by pretty fast and then we will get to the meat of the story, some J/L loving, mystery, Lily's job, some surprises, and finally the end!  OH, I will be so sad!

          So, please review!  5 more and I'll post another chapter.  But hm-mm!  More **_would_** be nice!!!!!!!!!!

*Hint*Hint*

          Oh!  P.S.  That song at the beginning was "Adam's Song" By Blink-182.  By now you probably think I have some strange infatuation with them but truthfully, the CD jacket is always sitting by my computer, and so I feel compelled to place their songs into my story.  I'll try to find someone new!


	12. Stuck

**Chapter 12**

**Stuck**

Ha, ha, ha, ha!  Surprise, surprise!

          Two days flew quickly by and soon Lily was out of the sanatorium.

          She walked down the hallway that evening, trying desperately not to hear and see the whispers and stares that followed her to the dorms.  Apparently, many people knew about what had happened. 

          Lily got to her room and sunk on to the bed.  It was nearly June and the weight of the baby was extremely painful on her back and ankles.  Two more months, just two more months.

          Now that the actual birth was looming, Lily was getting worried.  She could only see as far ahead as being pregnant.  The delivery scared her to death.

          She pulled out the green vial that held her pregnancy tonic and took a sip before once again getting up and leaving the bedroom.

          Glancing around the common room, she stole into the boy's dormitory.  Searching it vaguely with her eyes, Lily quickly found what she was looking for sitting alone on a bed.

          "James, I need to talk to you about what's going to happen after graduation."  She said softly.

          He flinched at the sound of her voice.  Without turning around, he answered her.  "Lily.  You're out of the infirmary."

          She was silent for a second.  "Yeah.  But right now, we need to figure out what we're going to do before it gets too late."  Lily's tone was quieter yet. 

          James turned around.  "Ok, here's how it's going to go.  "We'll buy an affordable house or apartment, get married and wait out the year.  I'll bring the calendar.  Then, when the time is up, I'll leave and you'll never have to see me again."  His attitude was sarcastic.

          Lily felt like crying.  Why was he being so mean?

          "Isn't that what you want, Lily?"

          He face was a mixture of fear, pain, anger, and sadness.  

          She took a step closer.  "No, that's **not** what I want.  I want my baby to have a father.  I want to lead a happy life.  And most of all, I want YOU to grow up, James Potter.  How can you say these things?"

          He turned around completely now.  "Why shouldn't I believe that, Lily?  You more or less told me that I was the reason that you tried to kill yourself."  James got to his feet and moved toward Lily.  "What do you want from me?  I just want to live a normal life.  Do you know how scared I am right now?  I have to become a father whether I'm ready or not.  I have to grow up whether I'm ready or not."

          Lily stepped closer, their noses were almost touching.  "You said 'I' an awful lot in that speech.  And for all of it, **I can truthfully say, you're ****NOT the only one in this situation."**

          She was breathing heavily and James could see flames dancing in her eyes.  With her mess of auburn curls, she seemed to be on fire.  He couldn't take it anymore, so many emotions rushing through his veins.

          He wrapped his hands around Lily's small body and pulled her towards him, kissing her roughly.  At first she pushed him away, but soon, she melted.

          James ran his tongue along her lips, asking permission, which Lily gave.  They played seductively with each others mouths before slowly pulling away.
    
    _I can't get out of bed today_
    
    _Or get you off my mind_
    
    _I just can't seem to find a way_
    
    _To leave this love behind_
    
    _I ain't trippin_
    
    _I'm just missing_
    
    _You know what I'm saying_
    
    _You know what I need…_
    
    _Every now and then_
    
    _When I'm all alone_
    
    _I'll be wishing you will call me on the telephone_
    
    _Say you want me back _
    
    _But you never do_
    
    _I feel like such a fool_
    
    _There's nothing I can do_
    
    _I'm such a fool_
    
    _For you_
    
    _I can't take it_
    
    _What am I waiting for?_
    
    _I'm still breaking_
    
    _I miss you even more_
    
    _And I can't fake it_
    
    _The way I could be for_
    
    _I hate you but I love you_
    
    _I can't stop thinking of you_
    
    _It's true _
    
    _I'm stuck on you_
    
    _Now love's a broken record that's_
    
    _Been skipping in my head_
    
    _I keep singing yesterday_
    
    _Why we've got to play these games we play?_
    
    _Every now and then_
    
    _When I'm all alone_
    
    _I'll be wishing you will call me on the telephone_
    
    _Say you want me back _
    
    _But you never do_
    
    _I feel like such a fool_
    
    _I can't take it_
    
    _What am I waiting for?_
    
    _I'm still breaking_
    
    _I miss you even more_
    
    _And I can't fake it_
    
    _The way I could be for_
    
    _I hate you but I love you_
    
    _I can't stop thinking of you_
    
    _It's true _
    
    _I'm stuck on you_
    
                Lily and James stepped away from one another, their faces flushed, their breathing rushed.
    
                "That was…wrong."  Lily whispered, a tear falling.  "I…I…I…don't know what to do."  James reached up and gently brushed her tears away with his thumb.
    
                Just then, the door opened noisily behind them and Remus and Sirius walked in.

          They looked quickly between Lily's tear stained cheeks and James's sympathetic face.

          "What's going on here?"  Sirius asked slowly.

          Lily spun around.  "Nothing.  We were just discussing life after Hogwarts.  I'll be leaving now.  See you tomorrow."

          Remus and Sirius simply watched her fly from the room as James flung himself back on to the bed.

_Sorry!  That was such a short chapter!!!!  I hope you all liked it though!!!!!!  Some J/L action in there!!  Tee hee hee!_

_I'm sorry that it all took me so long!  I was in __Disneyland__ over the weekend with my school.  Oh!  You should see the tan on me!  LoL._

_Anyway, I have writers block as to what should happen next, so if you have any ideas, leave it in a review or e-mail me at SoulPunk27@teenagedirtbag.com._

_Thank you to all of my reviewers!  You are the best!  I'll update when I get **10 reviews this time.  **_

_The song in this chapter was:  _Stacey Orrico's "Stuck".__


	13. Bella and Kisses

**Chapter 13**

**Bella and Kisses**

Lily walked back to the girl's dormitory quickly, not bothering to notice the people staring at her tear-stained face.

          She had been trying to talk to James and he had kissed her!  Why?  She was too confused to even ponder the logic of his mind.  He was angry at her, saddened by her, hurt by her.  The only sense Lily could make of it was; he was just as confused as she was.

          Finally she made it into the 7th year room.  Closing the door, she leaned against the wall and took a deep breath.  There was one question still dangling in Lily's mind.  How did she feel?

          She knew she couldn't pretend that she had hated the kiss.  Hell, it was wonderful.  But James had hurt her before.  Wouldn't he just do it again?

          "Hey!  How are you feeling?"  A voice called, interrupting Lily's thoughts.  "Why are you crying?"

          The voice belonged to Kari.  She touched her friends shoulder gently.  

          Lily jumped, "Oh, I'm feeling better, I just, you know, got in a fight with James.  It's nothing though."

          "Nothing, huh?  Well, I'm glad you're back.  Maybe you should get some rest, you will have to get used to going to classes again!  But, lucky you!  You got to miss Professor Trelawney's big homework assignment."

          Yawning, Lily said good night to Kari and then went into the bathroom to change into her pajamas.  The kiss was just something she didn't want to deal with right now.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV***VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

          The next morning, Lily somehow found herself in the dining hall.  She couldn't figure out how she made it there, considering she had been asleep the whole time.

          Spooning some eggs on to her plate, she muttered a sleepy, "Good day," to all of her friends who were already sitting around the table.

          "Good morning, Lily darling!"  Sirius exclaimed loudly, throwing his hands out.

          She squinted and looked at him through one eye.  "Go back to bed."

          He slumped back onto the chair.  "Fine.  Just fine.  Go on, eat your eggs and pretend I'm not here.  *Sniff, sniff*" Sirius waved his hand at her plate.

          Lily smiled and picked up her fork.  "Very well, then."  She said as he shot a sarcastic look at her.

          They ate a few minutes in silence, Alisa and Sirius occasionally whispering things to each other and giggling.  After clearing her platter, Lily got up and grabbed her bag.  "I'm going to go to Professor Flitwick's to see if there is anything I should catch up on.  I'll see you all later."  Then she walked out of the room, one hand clutching her bag, the other placed on her stomach.

          Suddenly, James too grabbed his sack and hurried after Lily.  

          Lizzie laid her head on Remus's shoulder.  "Uh-oh, what is that boy up to now?"  

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV***VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

          James followed Lily through the maze of halls that led to the charms classroom.  With his quidditch training, he quickly caught up to her and grabbed an arm.

          She turned around and stared at James quizzically.  His mouth pouted and Lily remembered what it felt like to be attached to it.  She shivered at the very memory.  "What is it James?  I've got to see Flitwick."  

          He looked at the floor and then back into her eyes.  "What…what did that kiss mean to you?"  His voice was quiet and sheepish.

          Lily blushed.  "I don't know.  I was hoping you would be able to figure that out.  All I can think is that I don't want to be hurt anymore.  We really shouldn't do that again."

          He nodded, "I know, we shouldn't complicate things at this point.  I suppose I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about what happened.  We'll just fall back on our old plan of being civil, agreed?"

          He held out his hand for her to shake which she took, feeling his work hardened palm.  Their eyes met and she felt him pull her body forward.  

          Then, out of now where, Lily and James were kissing again.  Their arms intertwined as their bodies pressed against each other.  

          Somewhere in the back of Lily's mind, a voice screamed out, "Stop!  What are you doing?"  But she pushed it away and continued to explore James mouth.  Only when they fell against the wall did she pull away.

          "Oh my God, what are we doing?"  Lily asked, running her fingers through her red curls.

          James's voice was panicked.  "I…I…I don't know.  Damn it!  I'm really sorry, Lily.  What are we going to do?"

          "I don't know!  Shit.  Ok, calm down.  Well, we can't sit here and figure it out; we got to be in class."

          They walked, almost jogged to the Charms classroom, trying to avoid each others eyes.  Within a matter of minutes they had made into the room, barely four minutes late.

          "Mr. Potter, Miss Evans.  So nice of you to join us.  Please take a seat."  Professor Flitwick squeaked.  

          Luckily, the only two seats left were on opposite sides of the room.  Lily took the one next to Alisa while James went to the one next to Sirius.

          The professor began explaining a difficult charm to the class.  Quietly, Alisa leaned over to Lily and whispered, "So, what happened?  You guys were gone for a long time."

          Lily could feel the heat rise to her cheeks.  "Nothing.  It's just, you know, complicated."

          Kari, who was sitting on the opposite side of Alisa, leaned in.  "Is that boy causing you trouble again?  Just tell me if is and I will beat the crap out of him!"

          "No, really.  It's absolutely nothing that I can't deal with on my own."

          Kari sat back and sighed.  Was her friend falling for James again?  She wasn't sure how she felt about that.  It was good, in one way, because they would have to spend a year together, but on the other hand, Kari couldn't stand to see Lily hurt again.

_Hey man, we look at each other, with ample eyes,_

_So why not some time to discover what's behind your eyes?___

_I've got so many questions that I want to ask you._

_I am so tired of mirrors; pour me a glass of your wine!_

_And there's a shadow in the sky and it looks like rain,_

_And shit is gonna fly, once again!_

_I look at myself in the mirror,_

_Am I vital today?  _

_Hey man, I let my conscience get in the way!_

_And there's a shadow in the sky and it looks like rain,_

_And shit is gonna fly, once again,_

_And I don't mean to rain on your parade, _

_But pathos has got me once again…_

_And I don't want ambivalence no more!_

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV***VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

          The next day, Lily sat in the library, trying to finish her potions essay.  Sighing, she set down her quill and picked up the course book.  This concoction was extremely hard to research because the library held so little about it.

          Someone from behind tapped Lily on the shoulder.  She turned around, only to find Arabella Figg shifting nervously.

          "Hey, um, I just came here to ask you if you are going to take that one auror's job.  The rest of us have decided that we would like to do it, so, you're the last one."   She asked, flicking her long chestnut hair behind one shoulder while her brown eyes waited for an answer expectantly.  

          Lily bit her lip, she had completely forgotten about the job offer.  Would she still be able to do it with the pregnancy?  "Well, actually, I don't know.  I'm going to talk to Professor Dumbledore first, I think."

          Arabella smiled, partially confused by the answer she'd received, "Ok.  Anyway, everyone else is ready for it whenever you are!  I've got to go, see you later!"  Then she turned around and left.

          Trying to focus on her book again, Lily's thoughts drifted.  Why did she hate Arabella so much?

*_Flashback*_

          It was during her third year at Hogwarts and the girls were in their dorm discussing Brad, a very cute boy who Lily had a crush on.

          "You should ask him out, right now.  I know for a fact that he is in common room."  Taunted Kari as she pulled her legs in Indian style.  Alisa nodded fervently.

          Lily hesitated, they had heard rumors that he liked her, but no one could really confirm it.  "Well, er, Kari…I don't know, ugh, fine…no!  Don't do it, well, I guess if you want to you can do it.  No, that's nice; I should be the one asking.  Ok, no, you can go ahead and ask, quickly, though, before I change my mind."

          Kari squealed.  "Don't worry Lily, he'll say yes!  You're feeling good, looking sexy!  Oh!  I cannot wait!"  She ran away, singing softly under her breath, "Someone's getting a boyfriend!"

          Alisa smiled and wiggled her eyebrows causing Lily burst into giggles.

          They waited and waited, how long did it take to get an answer?  The two girls looked at the clock and sighed.  It had only been three minutes.

          Lily fell back onto the bed; her heart was pounding so hard she thought it might catapult out of her chest.

          Soon, she heard the ominous creak of the door, and snapped back up.  

          Kari gave her a sad smile.  "He said he liked you but…he already has a girlfriend."

          Trying to hide the sinking disappointment that she felt, Lily gave her best cheery smile.  "Oh, I thought as much.  Um, do you know who?"

Squinting her eyes, Kari thought for a minute.  "I think he said it was Ashley Levs."

          Alisa made a face.  "That prat?  Isn't she the one with that groovy older brother?"

          Kari nodded.  "Yeah, the one with smokey eyelashes.  What's his name?  Andrew…Anthony, yeah, that's it.  I quite fancy him.  Anyway, Lily, Brad said that he would like to go out with you later in the year, after this relationship dies out."

          Lily nodded and smiled once more.  She would still have a chance.

          Three months flew by.  Brad and Lily locked eyes every once in a while and smiled shyly.  

          That Saturday morning dawned bright and beautiful and buzz circulated the third year population: Brad and Ashley were no longer a couple.

          Lily and her friends practically screamed in delight, she was finally going to get her man!

          They waited three days before making their move.  That way Lily didn't seem over eager or obsessive.

          She pulled on her school clothes and did her hair just right.  An aura of confidence surrounded her as she made her way to the dining hall.

          Kari and Alisa gave her small smiles as she walked over to Brad who was standing near the entrance of the Great Hall, his back to her.  

          Ten more steps…five more steps…Lily stopped dead in her tracks.  The school know-it-all, Arabella Figg marched up to Brad.  

          "Hey babe!"  She said seductively wrapping her arms around him.  Lily stared like a deer caught in the head lights.  

          Arabella gave her a sarcastic smile before kissing the boy who was supposed to be Lily's.

          Brad turned around.  "Oh shit …"  He trailed off nervously.  "I'm really sorry; I just thought you weren't interested anymore."

          She shifted on her feet as Arabella leaned against his already broad chest.  "What did you say?  I was just looking for a friend."  Lily lied quickly, thoroughly embarrassed.

*_End Flashback*_

          The present day Lily shook her head.  Arabella seemed to have changed, but the memory still made her flush with anger.

          Pushing thoughts of Miss Figg out of her mind, Lily shut her book and headed towards the Gryffindor tower deciding along the way to visit the Headmaster first thing in the morning.

_Okie Dokie!  How was that?  I thought it was a pretty ok chapter!  I had to throw the job in there because I had COMPLETLEY forgotten about it!!!!  Woops!  Oh!  And ya'll got some L/J action AGAIN!  Twice in a row, wow, lucky you!  _

_I'm a little mad because I didn't get 10 reviews like I asked, (Come on people, is it really THAT bad???)  but maybe if you have a long chapter, you'll review more… hint hint._

_I would also like to take this time to give pie of any flavor (You pick one, your very favorite!) to _**FEAangel258_ who has faithfully reviewed, erm, a lot.  Congratulations, I hope you enjoy this dessert._**

_Oh, and _**Andufeniel****, Joyce, _and **Slinkysly**_, you get a handful of cookies for reviewing quite a bit.__**

_Ok, and now, for the pleasure of all, I will answer some questions that were posted, even if it is a little late for some.  Here goes:_

Lilybird:  James doesn't really know what he means.  I don't even know what he wants, you know him, he's got a mind of his own…

FEAngel258:  Hey!  I like your ideas; I just might work them into the plot a bit…  Lucky you!  By the way, how's the pie?

Twinkle Toes:  Finally, constructive criticism!  I love you!  I hope this was a little bit better, imagery wise.  

Sydney:  I'm soooooo sorry that I didn't answer you sooner!  The song was "All the Small Things" by Blink-182.

_And special thanks goes to everyone else who has ever reviewed, your words keep this story alive!_

_Disclaimer:  The song, "Hey Man" (how original…) belongs to Nelly Furtado.  _


	14. The Job and the Fight

Chapter 14

The Job and the Fight 

          The next day, Lily woke up early in order to see Professor Dumbledore.  The morning was over cast, and a soft rumble from the sky interrupted the otherwise peaceful castle.

          She walked quickly through the hallways, her footsteps echoing heavily around her.  Before long, the stone gargoyle came into view.

          Uh-oh, what was the password?  "Chocolate frogs...no…sugar quills?"  The gargoyle stared at Lily sullenly.  "Ok, honeydukes chocolate?" 

          Suddenly, a voice from behind spoke out.  "No, I'm afraid the password is simply 'fudge'" Dumbledore smiled.

          "Oh, I didn't know you were standing there!" Lily exclaimed, clutching her chest.  

          The headmaster chuckled and after opening the passageway, led Lily into his office.  "Now, Miss Evans, what can I help you with?"

          "Well, you know that job that the ministry offered?  Considering my, um, pregnancy, do you think it would still be ok to take it?"

          Dumbledore folded his hands on the wood desk.  "I suppose it would be fine.  You see, it's mostly desk labour, and you could even work at home."

          Lily nodded slowly.  "Ok…that sounds good."  She stood up.  "Thank you very much.  I better head to the Great Hall now."

          She got up and left the office.  It felt better to know that, despite this hardship, she would still be able to avenge her family's death.

          Taking a deep breath and a step into the dining hall, Lily found herself in a war zone.

          "Sirius, why can't you fucking grow up?!?"  Alisa screamed as she stormed past Lily.

          He looked at her with shocked eyes.  "What did I do?"  

          Alisa lowered her voice.  "I've heard from…well, that doesn't matter, I heard that you've been cheating on me."  Her voice trembled with anger.  "I won't be used liked that Sirius Black.

          Lily approached the table slowly.  "What's going on here?"  

          Alisa turned sharply on her heel.  "That scumbag," she spat, "was sleeping with another girl."

          Sirius slammed his fist on the table.  "I was not!  Damn it, who told you that?  I'm going to beat the shit out of them."

          Lizzie and Remus got to their feet and stared cautiously at their friends.  An ominous silence filled the hall as a thunder clap roared above them.

          Looking wildly around the room, Alisa threw up her hands.  "What the FUCK are you all looking at?"

          At that, Professor McGonagall rushed to the scene.  "Miss McBride, please watch your mouth.  Now, is there a problem here?"

          There was a tense moment before Alisa picked up her bag.  "No.  No problem, I was just leaving." 

          No one said a word as she marched out of the dining hall, but as soon as she was out of earshot, the entire room exploded with noise.

          Lizzie and Remus sat back down, whispering softly to each other.  Lily simply touched her fingers to her eyebrow.  

          "Sirius…"  She began.  

          He grabbed her wrist.  "You don't believe her do you?  I would never do anything like that."

          Lily closed her eyes in exasperation, "I don't know what to believe, at the beginning of the year it would have been totally possible."

          "Come on Lily, don't be like that!  I've changed!"  Sirius begged.

          "Ok, ok!  The first thing you need to do to sort this all out is find out who started this rumor.  I'm going to talk to Alisa."

          Sirius nodded and Lily walked towards the Gryffindor tower.  Muttering the password to the fat lady, she entered the common room.  In front of the fireplace, Alisa was curled up crying.  

          "Ok, what exactly happened to make you blow up at Sirius like that?"  She asked quietly, walking over to the cushy, red chair.

          Alisa looked at her friend broodingly, "Are you deaf?  I would think that the whole school could have figured it out by now."

          Lily re-thought her question.  "Alright, who told you that Sirius was cheating on you?" 

          "Oh no, no you don't!  You are so not getting that out of me!"  Alisa muttered, holding her hands in front of her face.  "The first thing you will do is go and tell Sirius."

          "Don't you think he has a right to know?  I mean, he wants to fix things with you.  Right now, he is out there trying to figure out who this person is…Sirius really likes you and he swears that he has changed."

          There were a few minutes of silence until finally; Alisa wiped a couple of tears from her eyes.  "I don't know, Lily…I do not want to lose him, you know?  And this may sound crazy, but I think…I think I might…love him."

          Lily listened sympathetically.  "Well, why aren't you trying to make things better?  Why are you…just letting him go?"

          Alisa shrugged as tears welled up again.  "Fine, I'll talk to him.  I'll tell Sirius who said he was cheating on me."  She nodded resolutely.  "I just don't think he'll like the answer." 

**************************************************************************************************************************************************************

          That day in Potions class, Lily sat with her friends listening to the grim Professor MacLeod.  She was one that everyone could agree was indeed a good teacher, but put one toe out of line…

          "Now students, please stir the brew in a clock-wise motion.  After precisely two and a half minutes, it will turn a bright, acid green.  When this happens, you may add the hyena's fu…may I help you?"

A small, nervous 3rd year boy entered the room.  "Yes Professor, the headmaster would like to see Lily Evans, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin immediately."

Startled, the three of them jumped from their seats.  "Is that ok, Professor MacLeod?"

The teacher nodded, "Just study this potion and write a two foot essay on its effects."

Lily, Sirius, Remus followed the younger student out of the room and down the hall.  

"Do you know the way?  And the password?  I've got a lot of other stuff to do…can you make it by yourselves?"  Asked the boy.

Lily nodded and led the others to the stone gargoyle.  Muttering, "fudge," she ushered them on to the revolving staircase and entered the glamorous office.

Seated in front of Dumbledore were Mundangus Fletcher, Arabella Figg, and a mysterious young woman clothed in a black suit/dress.  Her dark hair was pulled into a tight bun and her face looked older with worry than she really was.

Dumbledore stood and motioning towards the three students now entering introduced them to the lady.  "Ms Claymore, this is Sirius Black, Lily Evans, and Remus Lupin.  They are the others who lost their parents to Voldermort."

She smiled gravely, "Nice to meet you, you can call me Marie.  Is this all?"  She asked Dumbledore, he nodded and Marie continued.  "I work for the ministry and would like to talk to you about the job you were offered earlier in the year.  If you choose to accept it, you will be asked to look at riddles and prophecies that have been collected about this present situation.  Once you have figured out the meaning, it will be given to either a special unit of the ministry or an auror depending on the connotation.  You can do your job either in the office or at home, whatever suits you best.  The pay will be generous at about ₤100,000 a year along with the knowledge that you are saving countless muggle and wizard lives." 

The students looked thoughtful.  Lily was excited, she had always been good at solving riddles and so the job would be perfect.

Marie opened her black leather briefcase and pulled out several pieces of paper.  "If you are interested in taking the job, take one of these forms and fill it out, then, return in it to Professor Dumbledore who will give it to me.  Any questions?"

Everyone shook their heads, "no" as the young ministry worker handed out the documents.  "Ok, one more thing before I leave, you must hand these in by the day after tomorrow!  See you all soon."

Dumbledore stood up from behind his desk.  "You are excused to lunch.  Thank you very much."

The five students exited the office.  Sirius, Lily, and Remus walking side by side.

"I don't know about you two, but I am defiantly going to take this job."  Spoke Remus.  "But, I think I'm also going to go to school to become a teacher and that salary sure will help."

Lily and Sirius nodded.  

"I don't know, this would be nice, but I wanted to be an auror as well.  It would be so groovy to be out in the field actually seeing the effects of your actions."  Sirius mused. 

Lily smiled.  "I know I'm going to accept the offer.  It's perfect for me, something I love to do, with good pay, and considering my condition, well, you know.  Everything just works."

The two boys glanced quickly at the floor, because, after all, they were James's best friends and he was to blame for the baby.

          Remus went off to the infirmary from there since a full moon was approaching and he was already feeling queasy, leaving Sirius and Lily alone to walk to lunch.

          "Hey, did Alisa ever talk to you?"  She asked, now that they could talk privately.

          Sirius's eyes flashed with anger as he clenched and unclenched his fists.  "Yes and I am going to kill him, at lunch, today."

          "Who was it?  She never actually told me anything, just that she would talk to you and stuff."  Lily asked, truly curious.

          They turned the corner into the Great Hall and bumped into a boy with messy brown hair and glasses causing all four students to crash to the floor.

          Sirius glared at his best friend and growled, "James."

**************************************************************************************************************************************************************    

Tee hee hee!  Kind of left a cliff hanger!  Well, not really but yeah!  Well, sorry I haven't written in a LONG time, I just couldn't get into the story for a while and since I'm out of school, my writing skills have gone kapooee and so probably 80% of this chapter really, really sucked!

Anywhoo, thank you all so much for the reviews!  I appreciate them so much!  You all are the greatest and for that, you may pick out a cookie.  Yay for you!

Also, if you can't tell, I lowered the rating because as far as I can see, I just don't write 'R' rated stuff, you know?  But things may heat up later, after school ends…who knows?  I sure as hell don't and I'm the one writing the story!

Buh-bye!  Ta!

---DoOdLeS


	15. Jealous Anyone?

**Chapter 15**

**Jealous Anyone?******

"Hey, did Alisa ever talk to you?"  She asked, now that they could talk privately.

Sirius's eyes flashed with anger as he clenched and unclenched his fists.  "Yes and I am going to kill him, at lunch, today."

"Who was it?  She never actually told me anything, just that she would talk to you and stuff."  Lily asked, truly curious.

They turned the corner into the Great Hall and bumped into a boy with messy brown hair and glasses causing all three students to crash to the floor.

Sirius glared at his best friend and growled, "James."

**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Lily opened and closed her mouth a few times, looking between James and Sirius, who were shooting daggers at one another.  "James?  He's the one that told Alisa you were sleeping around?  But he's your best friend!"

"That's what I thought too," Sirius growled, "But he just can't stand to see someone have something that he thinks he should get too."

James sneered, "What?  Do you think I want your girlfriend, or something?  Thanks, but no thanks; I can get one of my own."

Sirius pushed himself off the ground so that he was standing above his friend.  "I don't know what you were thinking, but I am going to fucking kick your ass…"

James stood up as well, laughing slightly, "Yeah, sure you are.  I'd like to see you try and I'm sure everyone else would too!"  He motioned to the crowd gathering around them, "You know I'm stronger than you…I always have been, so why don't you just give it up, huh?  I don't really want to hurt you."  He patted Sirius on the shoulder.

"You little bastard, I'm going to kill you!"  Sirius yelled as he tackled James to the floor, punching him across the jaw in the process.

Lily ran over to where they were hitting each other.  "Stop it!  Stop it now, this is stupid!"  She screamed, trying to tear them apart.                                                                                                                                                              

"What the hell is going on here!"  A familiar voice yelled out.   

James, Sirius and Lily turned around to see Alisa push her way through the throng of people, closely followed by Professor McGonagall.

"Miss McBride, language, please!  Now you three, what is going on?"  The teacher questioned curtly.  

The two boys looked at the floor, and then at Alisa.  Both of them were pretty beat up, Sirius's lip was bleeding and he was clutching his stomach while James's eye was turning black and blue and blood was pouring out of his nose.

Sirius took a step forward, "Oh, nothing, Professor, I was just teaching this two-faced, back-stabbing, son of a bitch a lesson."  He growled loudly.

Professor McGonagall looked exasperated, "Watch your mouth, Mr. Black!  Both of you will report to Dumbledore's office immediately!  I will send the nurse there.  Now go!"  She shooed everyone else back into the dining hall.  

Alisa and Lily walked quietly to the Gryffindor table.  When they sat down, Alisa turned towards Lily.  "Why did you make me tell him?!  I knew it would only make things worse!  I could've forgiven Sirius but now I feel awful because their not friends anymore and it's my entire fault!  And…and…I blame you!"

Lily's mouth fell open, "You're blaming me?  Like I really knew it was James and that it would be this bad?"  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "Please, just trust me, they'll work it out.  Whatever happens, it'll be ok."

Alisa just sighed and turned away.

Meanwhile, in the headmaster's office, James and Sirius were waiting for Professor Dumbledore to arrive.  Madame Glencoe was healing their various wounds and muttering grievances about fighting.

Finally, the headmaster arrived and the nurse hustled out of the room.  He looked at the two boys (who were stubbornly refusing to speak to each other,) gravely.  "Will you please explain why in the world you were fighting one another?"

Sirius glared at the desk, "Well, HE was spreading nasty rumors that I was cheating on my girlfriend, which wasn't true.  I wasn't about to let him off easy, you see."

Dumbledore leaned back into the chair, his eyes twinkling slightly, "Understandable, I suppose.  James why were you doing such a thing?"

"I didn't spread rumors; I told HIS girlfriend what I truly thought.  I can't help it if HE earned that reputation before.  And what was I supposed to think when gallivanting around with Arabella Figg?  They were so friendly, what else would I think?"  James answered crossing his arms.

Sirius turned and faced him now, "Oh, how about remembering that I had to consider that ministry job with Arabella and we needed to agree on it?  Didn't you think about that at all?  I was friendly because she's a nice person and we are FRIENDS!  You do remember what friends are, don't you?"

James looked dumbstruck, "The…the…ministry job…"  He repeated slowly.  "I had completely forgotten about it."  

"Huh, obviously," chortled Sirius.

"I'm sorry, mate.  I shouldn't have said anything in the first place, friends again?"  James asked, holding out his hand.  Sirius nodded gruffly, and they shook hands.

Dumbledore stood up, "Very good, I believe you can show yourself out, Sirius?  James, I must speak with you for one minute, if you don't mind."

James nodded to his friend and settled back into the chair.  "What is it sir?"

The ministry has found a suitable house for you and Miss Evans.  It has two bedrooms and one bathroom.  As you can tell, it's quite small.  The rent has been brought down to 20 galleons a month, which is quite reasonable.  Do you think you will find this all acceptable?"  

James nodded, "I'll have to talk to Lily, but it sounds ok."  Dumbledore smiled and excused him to class.

*************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Later that night, Lily was in the girl's bathroom, primping herself.  James had sent her a note saying that he needed to talk to her.  Her stomach was doing flip flops; her heart was pounding so loud that it drowned out everything else.

She was dressed casually, just jeans, a t-shirt, and sandals.  Lily didn't want James to know exactly how nervous she was to see him.  Finally, she pulled the brush through her hair one last time, took a swig of her medicine and marched into the common room.

James was waiting for her on one of the couches.  He saw Lily and walked over to where she was standing.  "Hey, do you want to take a walk around the lake?"  He asked.

She nodded and they left through the portrait hole.  Once out of the castle, they carefully avoided the Whomping Willow and then made their way down to the bottom of a tiny hill, just over looking the lake.  The trees of Forbidden Forest cast shadows over them.

"So," Lily began, "What did you need to talk about?"  They settled down onto the grass.

"Well, Dumbledore said that the ministry found a house for us.  It's small, but I think it'll work."

Lily scratched her arm and stared across the water, "Ok…that's good.  I hope it's furnished, you know?  That would be even better."  She chuckled quietly.

James grabbed her hand, slapping the palm gently.  "Yeah, I know, it's just, it's just, well, it's so…real now."

Lily pulled her hand away, snorting.  "It's been real for me for quite a few months."  Then she sighed.  "We'll get through it, ok?  Everything will be great…er…fine.  I guess we should go back up to the castle, before it gets too late."  

They walked back to the castle, not necessarily together.  James was lagging behind about ten steps.  The last thing Lily saw before she mounted the steps was another slutty girl trying to get with him.  

_No matter what happened, he was never going to change!_  She thought angrily, throwing a murderous glance over her shoulder.  _Oh God, I'm not jealous am I?_

*Please don't say you love me*

*Those words touch me much too deep*

*And they make my core tremble*

*Don't think you realize the power you have over me*

*And please don't come so close*

*It just makes me want to make you near me always*

*Please don't kiss me so sweet*

*It makes me crave a thousand kisses to follow*

*And please don't touch me like that*

*Makes every other embrace seem pale and shallow*

*Please don't look at me like that*

*It just makes me want to make you near me always*

*Please don't send me flowers*

*They only whisper the sweet thing you'd say*

*Don't try to understand me*

*Your hands already know too much anyway*

*It just makes me want to make you near me always*

*And when you look in my eyes*

*Please know my heart is in your hands*

*It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms*

*You have complete power over me*

*So be gentle if you please, 'cause*

*Your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth*

*And it makes me want to make you near me always*

**Ok, I'm sorry if that was short and horrible, but, hey!  At least I updated!  The story's a bit slow right now, but it'll get going, I promise.  Ok, well, is everyone back in school?  School sucks!  I wish it was summer again!**

**The song is "Near you Always" by Jewl.**

**REVIEW!  If anyone wants this story to continue, review and get your friends to review and have them get their friends to review cuz, if no one reads this, then I see no point to continue.  Get it, got it, good!**

**---dOOdles**


	16. Graduation and the Final Speech

**Ok, so I just read the last chapter and I just have to say that I am truly sorry I put you all through that.  It was horrible.  //Tear*Tear// //Sniffle*Sniffle// Ok, next chapter:**

**Chapter 16**

**Graduation and the Final Speech**

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          It was a month later.  Graduation was creeping up on the 7th years, reminding them to cherish the time they had left at Hogwarts.  It was also nudging Lily to the future.  She only had a month left of her pregnancy and the very thought made her tremble.  Not that she wouldn't be happy it was over, mind you.  Her back hurt, her feet ached, and to sit through a class was terrible because the baby would kick her in the bladder throughout the period.

          She also had to endure watching James practically throw himself at every other girl.  He knew, and they knew that he only had a month left as a truly single man for the year, and everyone was using it to their advantage.

          James was nervous, that was his big reason for being such a player.  But, he had an image to maintain and he didn't want anyone to know he was scared!  Sex was just something to keep his mind off of the following year and…Lily.  He didn't know if he was starting to like her, gain more responsibility, or what.  All he knew was that she was on his mind a lot.  He didn't have to look around to find her, his eyes already knew where she was.

          He kind of believed that he was going crazy.  Lily didn't return any of his ardors.  In fact, she almost pushed him away.

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          Lily lay on her bed, exhausted.  There was only a week left of school and the 7th years had just finished their N.E.W.T's.  These had just about drained her of all her energy.  It took all she had left to walk to the Gryffindor tower and throw herself on the bed.

          For about the fifth time that day, she cursed herself for being pregnant and not having enough strength to walk around, savoring the castle.  That's what everyone else was doing: Alisa, Sirius, Remus, Lizzie, and Kari.  Lily didn't know about James, he was probably finding another girl to sleep with and dump.

          That was, in fact, just what James was doing.  He stood against the wall in the Great Hall, watching all the students stroll outside to lounge in the sunlight.  A couple of 5th year girls burst into tears at the sight of James, because they had just been dumped.  (Not at the same time, of course.  James is sleazy, but not that bad.)  He shrugged them off before continuing his search.  James didn't know what he was looking for, just that every girl that passed giving him suggestive glances, seemed…too immature.

          Just when he was about to give up and head towards the kitchen, he saw Kari walking slowly from the library, her eyes focused on a book.  

          _Mmm-mmm__, smart, pretty, and single!  Maybe that is just what I need… James thought, smiling.  He assumed she was single, he'd never seen her with a guy before, anyway._

          He walked over to her, still grinning.  "Kari!  Hey!  How are you doing today?"  He asked.

          She slammed her book closed, blushing slightly.  "I'm ok, you know, just hanging out, taking mental pictures."

          James, curious, looked at the title of the book.  _The Art of Beauty by Rossi Perfecciόn.  "Why are you reading that?  You're pretty enough already," Kari blushed even deeper.  James held out his hand, "Want to go to Hogsmeade?"_

          Kari hesitated; she didn't want to become one of James's toys.  Besides, she had always considered him Lily's man, ever since the pregnancy, of course.  But, on the other hand, he was cute, he'd called her pretty and what was wrong with having a little bit of fun sometimes?  Finally, she accepted his grasp.  "Let's just go take this book back to the library first."  

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          "So, I was flying straight towards the ground and the snitch was right there!  I was almost there when I heard a whistle behind me and I turned around.  There's a bludger and the other seeker right behind me, so I turned forward again to catch the snitch but it's not there anymore and I plowed right into the ground!"  James laughed, leaning across the table towards Kari and gently holding her hand.

          They were sitting in a small, romantic café, sipping coffee.  The candle in front of them magically emitted a red glow onto the white table cloth.  All around them, couples snuggled in private booths while eating and drinking.  

          James wasn't sure why he was taking Kari here.  It wasn't something he normally would do for a girl.  But this one was different.  She was funny and intelligent; she made him want to make an effort.

          Suddenly, she leaned forward.  "Listen James, this is amazing, but I think we both know what we want.  I think we both just need some fun.  Do you want to go back to the castle or something?"

          Right, that blasted the last thought out of his head.  He couldn't believe that he had gone to all that trouble…oh well.

          "Yeah, let's go," James said in a determined tone.

          They left the money on the table and hurried out.  Kari avoided his eyes, smiling to herself instead.  She couldn't believe she had actually said it!  She felt so dirty, and yet so liberated.

          In what seemed like an hour, they made it back to the castle and snuck up into the boys' dormitory.  Kari hopped on to James's bed and pulled him towards her roughly.  He barely was able to close the curtains around them and murmur a silencing spell.  

          Her hands skimmed James's body, before pulling off his shirt.  She couldn't help drawing a quick breath at the sight of his finely sculpted muscles.  She quickly traced three scars on his stomach.

          "Remus," he said shortly, yanking off her shirt and jeans.

          Kari nodded, trying to act innate, though she felt extremely aware of all her flaws now.  _Relax, she thought, __you're not a little girl anymore!  She took a deep breath and pulled off his pants as well.  From there on, Kari just let natural reflexes take control…I'll let you imagine the rest._

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          It was finally graduation and the day before the 7th years left Hogwarts for a long time.  Everyone was glowing, it seemed, even Lily who was wearing out fast.  The entire grade level sat in the Dining Hall to receive their certificates and listen to Dumbledore's speech.

          Some chattered happily, clutching their diplomas, glad to be starting something new.  Others sobbed quietly into friends' shoulders.   

          Dumbledore stood up and everything became quiet.  "Ladies, gentlemen, I would like to thank you for another wonderful year at Hogwarts.  I hope that you will leave here with your head a tad smarter than when you arrived.  You all have weathered many things here; happiness, sadness, death, and," he glanced at Lily, "new life.  But now is the time to gather that courage, that bravery and face what lies ahead.  We are in danger from deadly foes, all of us.  Now is the time to join hands, to unite forces, to tie bonds.  Should you refuse the world as you know it may crumble.  A terrible war is raging just beyond those doors, one which, I'm sad to say, you have been shielded from.  It is a silent fight, pure-blood against muggle-born, family against family, brother against brother.  I warn you now, choose your allies wisely.  Congratulations and thank you."  He sat down to a buzz of whispers.

          Most faces were anxious or confused, but a group of Slytherins and some other students from different tables huddled around mumbling secretively, their own expressions a mixture of worry and delight. 

          Sirius wrapped his arms tighter around Alisa.  She laid her head onto his shoulder and noticed that he was shaking ever so slightly.  

          Looking concerned, she sat up, "Why are you shaking?  What's wrong?  Are you cold?"

          He shook his head as if searching for the right words.  "My parents…they were killed by this war, by that man and his followers.  It's the same thing with Lily and Remus."  Tears welled up, but he furiously wiped them away.

          Alisa didn't know what to say.  She knew that nothing would make Sirius feel better, so instead she hugged him tighter, kissing his cheek gently.

_*Fire*_

_*The sun is well asleep*_

_*Moon is high above*_

_*Fire grows from the east*_

_*How is this*_

_*Hate so deep*_

_*Lead us all so blindly killing killing*_

_*Fools we are*_

_*If hate's the last gate to peace*_

_*This is the last stop*_

_*For raining tears*_

_*War*_

_*The only way to peace*_

_*I don't fall for that*_

_*Raining tears*_

_*You're righteous, so righteous*_

_*You're always so right*_

_*Go ahead and dream*_

_*Go ahead a believe that you are the chosen one*_

_*Raining tears*_

_*Oh no, Gracious even God*_

_*Bloodied the cross*_

_*Your sins are washed enough*_

_*Mother's cry*_

_*"Is hate so deep*_

_*Must a baby's bones*_

_*This hungry fire feed?"*_

_*The smoke rolls in*_

_*The symphony of death*_

_*This is the last stop*_

_*Scream*_

_*Right is wrong now*_

_*Shut up you big lie*_

_*This black and white lie*_

_*You comb your hair to hide*_

_*Your lying eyes*_

_*You're righteous, so righteous*_

_*You're always so right*_

_*But why your lie*_

_*Go ahead and dream*_

_*Go ahead and believe that you are the chosen one*_

_*This is the last stop*_

_*Here there's more than is showing up*_

_*Hope that we can break it down*_

_*It's not so black and white*_

_*You're righteous*_

_*You're righteous*_

_*You're righteous*_

_*You're always so right*_

_*There you are nailing a good tree*_

_*Then say forgive me, forgive me*_

_*Why*_

_*Raining tears*_

_*This is the last stop*_

_*Here there is more than is showing up*_

_*Hope that we can break it down*_

_*It's not so black and white*_

---Dave Matthews Band

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**Ok, first off I would like to say that I am so sorry for putting James with someone else and I know some of you will be slightly pissed off but don't worry because for the time being, it's simply a one night fling, ok???  Everything will be explained later.**

**Thank you to all who reviewed.  Your thoughts and compliments are greatly appreciated.  **

**FEAngel****…: I think I'm going to use some of your ideas for sure now, so I wanted to especially say thanks to you.  Unless…well read on…**

**If I get 10 reviews I'll continue the story rapidly, if I get 5 reviews I'll update whenever I feel like it, which may not be quickly and if I get less, I'll discontinue the story, so it's up to you guys…what do you want?**

**---dOOdles **


	17. Kari

**Chapter 17**

**Kari**

The scarlet Hogwarts Express barreled away from the school.  Lily stared out the window watching the castle shrink smaller and smaller until finally, it disappeared around a bend.  She sighed and turned her green eyes blankly towards the landscape thinking how the dark, grey clouds were echoing her mood of despair.

            The compartment door slid open and Lily twisted to see James sit next to her.  He looked out the window for a moment before speaking.

            "Well, I have it all sorted out.  My parents are going to meet us at the station, they said that we can stay with them for the night and then they will drive us to the house in the morning.  Is that ok with you?"  He questioned quietly and she nodded.

James got up to leave, "Wait," Lily grabbed his arm, "will you…sit with me for a while?  Then you can leave and do whatever you want."  Her eyes were pleading, she'd never felt this small, this alone.

He sat back down and pulled her head onto his chest, "Just relax, it'll be fine."  A single tear dropped from her face, staining his shirt.  James silently smoothed her hair until he fell asleep.

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            Kari, Remus, Lizzie, Sirius, and Alisa were in another compartment, far from the one being shared by Lily and James.  They all were playing Exploding Snap except for Kari.  She was restlessly dreaming.  True-to-life dreams of her and James, the way he kissed her, the way he touched her, the way her dark skin blended with his lighter shades.  Kari kept reminding her self that it was just a one-time thing, but nothing was helping.  

            Through out the entire graduation, she felt awkward around him.  But since he seemed to think nothing of it, she tried to act natural as well.  Besides that, she held in reserve the dreams, or more like, the visions.  Hadn't she seen James and Lily together?  She had a feeling that no matter how they felt right now, they were meant to be with each other.

            Kari twisted uncomfortably in the chair, her eyebrows knitted as she tried to think of something else, anything else.  Unfortunately, nothing came to mind and so the scenes kept replaying over and over.

            When she finally opened her eyes, the food witch was pushing the trolley through their door. 

 "Anything from the cart, dears?"  The 'lunch lady' asked sweetly.  Kari looked up to see what was available and noticed two people standing behind the elder woman.  It was Lily and James.  She felt her face blush without control and decided to look at Lily instead, but before she had a chance to wave, Kari noticed something…they were holding hands.  Suddenly, she wanted to be anywhere but there.  She stood up and pushed through the door muttering that she was going to the bathroom.  

As soon as she got a few cars away, Kari sat down with shaking hands.  _God, I can't believe how stupid I am being about this whole thing!  I don't want to like him…I'm being such a dumbass!  She knew this was going to happen, but she had asked for it so she was just going to have to deal with the consequences.  _

When she had calmed down, Kari decided it was time to head back to the compartment, fully prepared to deal with James.  She opened the door and came face to face with Lucious Malfoy, a Slytherian whom she had never spoken to.  His white-blonde hair was a heavy contrast to his quidditch tanned face.  He had small, cold eyes that bored into her own as he blocked the exit.  Behind him, three other Slytherian's stood menacingly.  

"You're Kari, right?  Friends with Lily and James?"  He asked in a deep, even voice.  Kari nodded slowly, wondering why she was being hassled.  Malfoy spoke again, this time so quietly, that she had to lean in to hear.  "What do you know about the child?"

Kari was confused, "Child?  Well, I don't really know anything if you're talking about Lily's because she hasn't had it yet…"

Lucious grabbed her wrist tightly, "Don't screw with us, we've heard about your visions, the Dark Lord has heard about them too and he will reward you greatly if you help us."

She remembered her dreams; could the object in their hands be a baby?  It had seemed too small to be that, but…"I swear I know nothing."  Kari tried to make her voice steady, but it shook a little; giving away her fear.  Even if that thing was a kid, she really didn't have any information that could possibly be useful.

Lucious shoved her into an empty car.  Pointing his wand at her heart, he asked more forcefully, "What the fuck do you know about the baby?  The one that could someday be so powerful that he will kill the Dark…"  

One of the boys from behind punched him.  "You weren't supposed to say anything about that!  Now what are you going to do?"

Malfoy looked horror-struck, "Damn-it…"  He shifted nervously, gripping his wand even tighter.

Another of the guys stepped forward, "Well, you're going to be in trouble whatever you do.  We might as well just kill her; she knows too much…it'll lessen his anger."

Kari started crying.  "Please, please don't kill me!  I won't say anything, I swear," she sobbed, shaking so hard that her knees gave way and she crumpled to the floor.  This wasn't happening!  "I'll do anything!  Please!  Anything you want!  Just have mercy!"

The boy who had just spoken appeared to ignore her, "Just do it Malfoy, quick, before anyone comes."

Lucious looked at Kari through the corner of his eye, she was giving dry sobs now.

"Please let me go!  I'll do anything, I'll do anything at all, just name it, please!"  She stuttered, trying to regain her breath.

He took a stepped forward adjusting his wand to her body.  His hand was shaking slightly, he didn't really want to kill her…__

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            "We will be arriving King's Cross train station in five minutes.  That's five minutes.  Please have your trunk and belongings ready to unload.  Thank you."  A gloomy voice rang out as the train began to slow down.

            Lily, Alisa, Remus, James, Lizzie, and Sirius stood up and gathered their stuff that had somehow spread all over the area.  When she was done, Lizzie sat back down and looked curiously around.

            "Where is Kari?  I don't think she ever came back from the bathroom.  That was about 12:30 and it's 3:00 now.  I would think she would be back by now."

            The rest murmured consent.  Remus shrugged, "Maybe she just found some other friends.  She's probably just with some other people."

            Outside, the rain was pouring down hard.  Giant droplets that pelted against the windows, drowning away all thought and suspicion.  The Hogwarts Express glided to a halt and the students began filing off the train, covering their heads and giggling as they ran through the barrier.  

            Lily stepped off and waited, she wanted to at least say goodbye to Kari.  The others stood beside her; they waited as well, seeming to have the same idea in their heads.  They stared expectantly at the doors as people swirled around them, talking and laughing.

            The last few students trickled through the gateway.  But Lily hadn't seen Kari get off at all.  The rain was stinging her skin and her normally sleek, curly hair was limp and frizzy, but she wanted to continue waiting.

            Alisa shifted her weight.  "I think I'm going to look through the train.  She might've fallen asleep and just didn't realize what was going on."  Everyone else nodded.  

            James touched Lily's arm.  "My parents are waiting, we better get going."  She nodded mutely, wanting to see Kari one last time.  They turned and headed towards the barrier.  But before the had gotten all the way through, a scream rang through the station.

            Alisa stumbled out of the Express, "Kari…Kari…she's dead."  She muttered before collapsing to the ground.

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            Opps, I kinda killed her.  Sorry.  I'm also sorry this is such a short chapter.  I hoped you enjoyed it though.  Thank you to all my reviewers, it really made my day.  And, did you notice the lack of song, ?  :-P

The same deal for reviews—10 and you get a quick update, 5 and you get one whenever I feel like it, less and just stop writing the story, Ok?  Bye!

---dOOdles


	18. Home Sweet Home

**Chapter 18**

**Home Sweet Home**

****

**_Last time on Unexpected_**

_            *James touched Lily's arm.  "My parents are waiting, we better get going."  She nodded mutely, wanting to see Kari one last time.  They turned and headed towards the barrier.  But before they had gotten all the way through, a scream rang through the station._

_            Alisa stumbled out of the Express, "Kari…Kari…she's dead."  She muttered before collapsing to the ground.*_

            Lily spun around on her heel.  Her green eyes open as wide as they could be.  "No...No...No.  This has to be some sort of joke."  She ran over to where Lizzie was now trying to wake up Alisa.  "Someone, we need help!"

            "I'll go get my parents.  They should be just outside the barrier."  James shouted, running through the gateway.

            Alisa was beginning to come around when several train attendants dashed over to them.  "What's happened here?  We heard someone yelling for help."

            James's parents, along with Kari's, Remus's, Alisa's and Lizzie's arrived just then, in time to hear Alisa mumble the compartment that Kari had been in.

            "Lily, stay here with her, we'll be back in a few minutes."  James's father whispered as the rest climbed aboard the train.  She nodded and then turned to Alisa, who was sobbing uncontrollably.  

            "It...it...was horrible, Lily, just...horrible.  Who would...would...do something like that?"  Alisa murmured shakily.

            Lily shook her head, tears now framing her own eyes as reality hit her.  "I don't know.  I don't know."  She scooped up her friend in a hug, letting her cry.

            It was a couple of minutes before everyone else came out of the train once more.  Kari's mother had no expression on her face.  She was too sad to really feel anything at the time.  Lily let go of Alisa, and stood up, tears still flowing down her face.

            "I am so sorry about Kari.  If there is anything I can do..."

            Kari's mom smiled weakly, her eyes dull and dead.  "Lily, don't worry yourself.  You've got enough on your mind.  I'll be...I'll be ok."

            Lily nodded, "Alright.  Oh, I never got a chance to really thank you for letting me stay when..."  Her voice cracked and trailed off.

            Mrs. Beckman's face lit up with pity for second, "You're welcome.  I'll see you all...sometime."  Lizzie's parents escorted her through the boarder as Lizzie and Remus said their goodbyes.

            Lizzie turned towards Lily and James.  "Thank you, guys, for being my friends.  Promise to owl me if you need anything at all."  She gave them each a hug before following her parents.

            "Are you three ready to go to the house?"  William Potter asked Sirius, James, and Lily.  He was a distinguished looking wizard, with silver hair and hard, hazel eyes.  His wife was equally distinguished.  She had dark brown hair and lively blue eyes.  They all nodded mutely.  Lily dismissed her surprise that Sirius was coming with them.  She had known superficially that he lived with James.  Now she only wondered what he would do when James left for the new house.

            The ride home was an ominously quiet.  Lily was already missing Kari, who had been one of her closest friends.  Nothing could possibly replace her.  Sirius was upset only because he had never really gotten to know this girl and now he never would.  And James, his thoughts were those of sadness and guilt.  He too had never known Kari at all and yet he had fucked her and dumped her, like a piece of trash...like she didn't matter.  A voice inside his head comforted that she had asked for it, but, it didn't lessen the remorse.

            While James and Sirius looked out at the passing countryside, Lily dozed off from exhaustion and grief.  The cool glass of the window soothed her now pounding head as she rested it upon it.

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            The sound of the engine slowing down roused Lily from the nightmares she was having.  Kari's death had brought back painful flashbacks of her own parent's death.  But she pushed these into the back of her mind, trying to instead focus on the Potter's house.

            Lily herself had grown up in a rather large, private house.  It could be considered a small mansion, but it was nothing in comparison to the place in front of her.

            A white brick roundabout that they were currently driving on genteelly curved around a bubbling fountain.  Behind that stood a magnificent dwelling made entirely of light grey stone.  It was at least 4 stories high and was adorned with numerous French windows.  Sprawling out on either side, Lily could see an endless lawn and garden.  Even in the moonlit darkness, it was wonderful.

            She suppressed a sigh of awe as the car pulled to a smooth halt in front of the doors, but the doorman who opened the car door managed to irk a soft cry of surprise.

            Mr. Potter and Mrs. Potter (Dawn) led the three adolescents into the house while directing their bags to each respective room.

            "Boys, why don't you go to your rooms?  It's so very late, and James, you have long day ahead of you.  Lily, if you'll follow me."  Dawn ordered, mounting the curving stairs and beckoning to Lily.

            Lily obliged, following Mrs. Potter past room after room until finally they came to a door at the very end of the hallway.  Mrs. Potter opened the door, revealing a large, circular room.  On the floor, plush, red carpet softened their steps to the beautiful queen sized bed covered in gold silk bedding.  Lily's trunk was set beside it.

            Dawn turned to leave the room, but before she had fully exited the doorway, she spun to face Lily.  "It's nice to meet you; I wish we could have met under entirely different circumstances."  Then she left Lily to sleep.

            Lily got changed and laid under the silken bedspread, trying to fall asleep again.  But she found that with everything occupying her thoughts, she couldn't shut her eyes for more than a few seconds.

            She couldn't believe how traumatic the year had been.  Never had so many things happened to her at one time.  The death of her parents and her friend, the disownment from her sister, the baby, James, the rape...everything weighed on her chest until tears erupted silently, drenching and probably ruining the silk pillows.

            The comfort of the bed only added to Lily's unhappiness, though she couldn't figure out why.  It was just, the fanciness, the extravagance, it was wasted on her.

            Lily gazed upward, her eyes adjusting to the darkness.  She realized now that she must be sleeping in a tower because to ceiling was non-existent.  There was only a black, empty nothingness.

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            James woke in his room the next morning to the tantalizing smell of bacon cooking.  It teased him as he threw back the covers and walked the length of his room.  The stairs seemed endless as his stomach growled hungrily. 

            Finally, he made it to the dining room where Lily, Sirius, and his parents were already seated.  He took the seat across from Lily and silently observed her face.  It was paler than usual with dark circles outlining her usually bright green eyes.  She stifled a yawn.  James thought she looked as though she had gotten as much sleep as he had, or less.

            The cook, a plump older woman with graying hair and dimples on her round cheeks, soon brought in breakfast.  Lily listlessly served herself bacon and eggs while trying to avoid everyone's eyes.

            It was a blessing to stand up and leave from the silent table over which seemed to hang a mist of gloom, and get dressed.  Lily thought she had never heard such a heavy silence as that.

            She got dressed quickly, consciously forgetting to take the medicine that hid her pregnancy.  Before long, she heard a knock as the doorman came in to retrieve Lily's things.

            She followed the man downstairs and out to the car, where Dawn, Sirius, and James were waiting to board the car.  They all got in and after the boot of the car was closed, a driver got in a started the vehicle.

            The drive was not a long one, only about 25 minutes.  No one said a word as the car swept down the curving road.  The farmhouses and mansions became fewer and the trees grew in number.  Finally, they turned down a dark lane in the thick of the trees.  The tension could be cut with a knife.     

            Before long, they came to a clearing in which stood a small two story house surrounded by forest.  The driver stopped and all doors opened, each person staring at the house.  It was made of dark paneled wood and had an air of secrecy around it.

            "Shall we go in, then?"  Dawn asked crisply, already mounting the stairway leading to the door.  The others followed her warily.  The door creaked open to reveal a fair sized living room, behind it, a hallway led to large kitchen/dining room, a small bathroom also branched off of that hallway.  Climbing from the living room was the staircase.  Upstairs, there could be found two bedrooms and a bathroom/laundry room.  Luckily, every room was furnished so that the two teenagers did not have to worry about that.

            After they had finished the tour, Lily glanced at James nervously and he peeked at her too.  The house was very different from both of their old homes.

            Dawn led them back downstairs.  "I do believe that your things have been brought up to the bedrooms.  Yours Lily is to the left and you James are to the right.  Other than that, is there anything that you need to get through the night?  No?  Well, then Sirius and I will leave it to you."  She gave Lily and James quick hugs before exiting the house.

            James shook Sirius's hand.  "Owl me soon, mate."  Then Sirius hugged Lily quickly and followed Mrs. Potter to the car.

            The home felt oddly empty now that everyone else had left and the two left simply stood in an awkward silence until Lily, overcome with fatigue mounted the stairs and went to bed.  James, not knowing what to do, opened his trunk, grabbed a bottle of firewhiskey and went into the living room to down it.

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Well, there it is...sorry it is so short, I haven't had much time with school and all, but whatever, you got your chapter!  Thank you all so much for the reviews, I love you all so much!  And FEAngel, you are as great as ever!

---dOOdles


	19. Apparition

**Chapter 19**

**Apparition**

            "James!  James!  Can you bring me some water?  James, are you down there?"  Lily called down the stairs, clutching her stomach.  There was no answer.  "James?  Are you here?  Would you please bring me some water?"  She walked down the first two steps as again no one yelled back.

            In all actuality, James was sitting on the living room coach, clenching his fists.  He was trying to be helpful for Lily, but, ugh, he had been waiting on her hand and foot every minute of every day.  There wasn't much more he could take.  So now, James was employing the tactic of ignoring her cries.  The couch was hidden from view of the stairs and Lily wouldn't see him sitting there until she was all the way down and it was too late.  When she got all the way down and saw him, he would just make up some lame-ass excuse.

            "James!  Ugh, I'll just get it myself."  Lily sighed as she began walking down the rest of the steps.

            He let out a deep breath as the inevitable groan of the stairway was heard.  How much longer was it until the baby came and she could get stuff for herself WITHOUT making James feel bad?  

            Suddenly, as these thoughts ran through his head, a humongous crash could be heard from the stairs.  James jumped up and ran to the staircase.

            His heart began beating frantically at what he saw.  Lily was lying on her side on the landing.  Her breathing was rapid and her skin had turned extremely pale.  

            James tried to sit her up but she let out a terrible groan.  "I...thought...you...weren't...here," she struggled, "where...were...you?"

            He grabbed her hand, "I'm sorry...I guess I was just...are you ok?  Is the baby ok?"

            Lily's eyes grew wide, "The baby..." was all she managed to say.

            The world had grown black and fuzzy and Lily tried to make out her surroundings, but doing so only made her dizzy.  Slowly, a face formed.  It started out misty and grew clearer and clearer.  The features were so familiar.

            "Mum?  Is that you?"  Lily whispered, her hands grasping to hold on to her mother.  Sadly, they went right through as they would through a ghost.  "Mum...what's going on?"

            "I love you, Lily.  You must be strong for what will happen."  Mrs. Evans smiled.  "You are my little girl and I will always watch over you.  I love you."  Her face began to once again fade away.

            "Don't leave me mum!  Don't leave me!  Mum!  Please, please, please come back!"  Lily screamed causing her whole body to erupt with pain.

            A masculine voice was calling out from somewhere far away, "Lily!  Lily!"

            She waved her arms through the fog, "Is that you daddy?"  She was shaking harder than she had ever before.

            Strong arms picked her up and held her still.  "Daddy?  What is happening?  I'm so confused." 

            Several minutes went by and all Lily felt was the mist swirling around her and the two arms clutching her body.  Then, without warning, all sensation left her.  She felt no pain, heard no sounds.

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            James sat in the waiting room of a muggle hospital.  He couldn't remember ever feeling this apprehensive.  After Lily passed out, he spent several minutes trying to wake her up but she just continued to scream out for her mother and father.  He gave up and took her to the hospital where they had completely knocked her out and were now performing an emergency C-section.  (Spelling?  I'm not quite sure...)   

            "Prongs, there you are.  How is Lily doing?"  Sirius interrupted James's reverie as he and Alisa ran down the hallway.

            James shrugged, "I don't know, they haven't really told me anything yet.  They are giving her a c-section."

            Sirius looked confused, "A c...section.  What's that?"

            Alisa rolled her eyes, "It's just a way of taking out the baby.  She'll be fine, James, don't worry."

            He nodded as though he wasn't quite convinced.  He knew deep down that everything would work out, but he felt guilty.  Maybe if he had just gotten the water for her instead of being a selfish prick...

            They all sat in silence for a few minutes before the door containing Lily opened and a somber doctor walked out toward them.  James, Alisa, and Sirius stood, their ears eagerly listening for news.

            "I have good news and bad news," the doctor started.  "Shall we start with the bad news?  I must unfortunately announce that the baby did not survive.  With the damage from the fall and the shock of an early delivery...well, there was little we could do.  I'm very sorry.  The good news is that Miss Evans is going to be just fine with a few bandages and plenty of bed rest.  Now, if you would kindly give us a couple of minutes to clean up, you may see her."  He nodded to them and went back into the hospital room.

            They all stood there, Alisa grabbed Sirius's hand and looked sympathetically at James.  

            James wasn't quite sure how he felt about it.  While he was happy that he didn't have to be a father just yet, he had to admit that he had been a little excited about the experience.  Just a little.

            In about 10 minutes, all of the nurses and doctors exited the room and the last one ushered the threesome inside.  

            The room was clinically white with small splashes of blue and teal.  A small beeping sound could be heard from the machine hooked to Lily.  Other than that, the only noise came from Lily's sobs.

            It was hard to explain exactly how she felt.  She was upset and confused about seeing her mum and devastated and relieved about losing her baby.

            Hearing her cry like that, James was reminded of when he had found Lily after the rape.  It reminded him that that sound was the reason they were here in the first place.  If he had never heard her cry, he would never have wanted to protect her, if he had never wanted to protect her, he would never have befriended her, if he had never befriended her, he would never have slept with her, and if he had never slept with her, she would have never been pregnant.  But most of all, that cry made him care for her more than he had ever.  It wasn't love, but it was a feeling.

            "Lily," James croaked, not knowing which emotion to deal with first.  "Lily, don't cry.  We didn't want a baby...it's over now."

            She appeared not to hear him and instead sobbed out, "Mum, daddy...I want my mum, I want my mum."

            "There gone, Lily, there gone.  You know that."  James persuaded, wrapping his arms around her.  She held on so tightly that he could practically hear all of his bones crack.  "It's going to be ok.  Shhh, calm down.  I've got you, I'm here."

            Alisa and Sirius watched all of this in awe.  Lily hardly ever showed a weak side and James hardly ever showed a sensitive side.

            By the time they left, Lily had slipped into a dreamless, comfortable sleep.  James took one look back, finally she was peaceful.  He knew they would be ok, somehow, he knew they would get through it.   

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_Ok, ok, so the ending was a little hokey, but at least it was somewhat happy?!  Well, I would just like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who reviewed with your wonderful ideas.  Yay, I took your advise and just killed off the baby, and I think it was a much better choice than anything else.  _

_Um, I would also like to say that I appreciate everyone who reviews, they mean a lot to me, but I was so excited to see that Mistress Del Mare reviewed my story because she is one of my favorite authors on this site.  That made my day, lol!  _:D  

_And of course I would like to give a special thank you to all those awesome people who review every time I update.  It makes me feel so special to know that people like my story enough to keep coming back!_

_So ****__THANK YOU:_

Andufeniel

Suzie Q.

0.0.0.0

Brooke

Mistress del Mare

DodgerMcClure.aka.Drama-Queen

ioke

Roxy-punk-princess

faithenter the matrix

Yael

and many more...

Love---

dOOdles2

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	20. Changing

**Chapter 20**

**Changing**

            A week later, Lily was out of the hospital.  James apperated her back to their house in the woods where everything seemed different.  This was the house meant for their child.  That was the only reason they had been staying in it.  What was going to happen now?  Would they sell it?  Would she or James keep it? 

Lily worried about that for another three days before she finally decided to ask him.  She nervously walked into the living room where James was watching T.V. and sat down.  "So," she started, gaining his attention, "do you want me to move out so you and Sirius can share the house or whatever?"

"Whoa," he took a sip of his water, "that was a completely random question."  Lily gave him an appraising look.  "Do you have another place to stay?  You don't have to go anywhere if you don't want to." 

"Well, not really, but if you wanted Sirius to move in, I could talk to Lizzie or Alisa about being roommates."

James shrugged his shoulders.  "Like I said, you don't have to go anywhere.  You're just as welcome to stay here."

Lily grinned, "I think I will for a while.  Thank you so much, James."  She threw her arms around him with a hug, feeling a strange thrill run along her spine.  Slowly, she pulled back, leaving her arms around his neck.  "Thank you."  

James carefully studied her eyes.  The color was much darker than he'd ever seen it and they were sparkling, something he hadn't witnessed in a while.  Between her eyebrows, he could see the faint trace of worry lines.  To him, her eyes were exquisite.  "Lily?"  He asked quietly.

"Yes?"  She murmured, blinking slowly.

"I'm going to kiss you now, okay?"

Her eyes widened just a bit, giving away her surprise, but she nodded all the same.

James placed his fingers beneath Lily's chin and lifted her head slightly before placing a chaste kiss on her lips.  Lily's mouth was so soft and it felt so right to kiss her.  He pulled back unhurriedly, keeping his eyes shut.

Lily watched as James sat back once again.  The kiss had sent a multitude of shivers through her body.  She knew that James was trying to respect her by keeping things from being passionate.  That wasn't like him, and right then, that's not how she wanted him to be.  With her hands still behind his neck, Lily pulled him to her and kissed him deeply.  Her tongue begged for permission to enter, which he quickly gave.

The magnitudes of their attraction threw James in oblivion.  The feeling was incredible.  He slowly let his hand creep under her shirt, making its way to her breasts.  Before he made it pass her stomach though, Lily pulled back forcefully, grabbing his hand.

"James, I..."  She began, closing her eyes.

"No, I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have tried to do that.  You're not ready."

Lily cocked her head.  He was so different from the James she had known at school.  This one was kind, considerate, and respectful.  "Some other time, ok?  It's just...it's only been a week."  She gave him a small kiss on the cheek before going back up the stairs.

James took a sip of his water, his eyes returning to the television.  He could still feel her eyelashes on his cheek.

-----------------------*----------------------

Lizzie was waiting anxiously at the Leaky Cauldron for Remus.  They were supposed to meet there for dinner...an hour ago.  She re-crossed her legs and looked once again at her watch.  The more she looked at it, the slower the hands seemed to move.  "Where the hell is he?"  She growled under her breath.

As Lizzie muttered this, one of the bartenders approached her.  "Eh, are you 'Lizzie'?"  He asked.  She nodded, frowning.  A small, throbbing headache was beginning behind her eyes.  "'Ere's a message for you."  The young man threw a scroll at her before stalking towards another customer.

She unraveled the parchment, read it and groaned.

_Lizzie-_

_I'm sorry, but I wasn't able to meet you for dinner tonight.  You know how it is...I'm feeling quite sick.  Anyway, let's do it another time, ok?  See you soon!  _

_Love- Remus._

She crumpled the letter into a ball and stuffed it into her purse.  It was the third date in a row that he had missed and she was getting tired of it.  As long as they had been seeing each other, Lizzie had been as accommodating as she could be.  But...she just hated when people stood her up.

Signaling someone behind the counter, she slammed a couple sickles on the bar and stomped towards the door.  She threw it open a walked into Diagon Alley.  The wind whipped through her hair and she pulled her jacket more tightly around her body.

Lizzie glared at the sidewalk. _*The nerve of him, I can't stand the way he always does this.*_ She thought bitterly.  _*It's times like these I just want to leave...* _Lizzie stopped dead in her tracks.  She didn't **really want to leave him...she loved him.  _Didn't she?  _**

She thought about when they had first started going out, the excited, trembling feeling she always got when she saw Remus.  His kisses were so sweet and when she looked into his eyes....everything around just disappeared.  

Things were different now.  That Lizzie felt so young and naïve, now...the world was changing, she was changing.  When she looked at Remus these days, she felt nothing but expectant for the things that used to make the relationship so exciting.

She shook her long blonde hair out of her face and continued walking out of the wizarding area.  Lizzie boarded the passenger train that would take her to her flat in London and sat down wearily.  A cute young man sitting across the aisle smiled and she turned away in habit.

_If I wasn't with Remus...___

She gazed out the window at the passing country side, thinking hard about the situation.  As they were pulling into her stop, she grabbed a pen and tore off a piece of parchment from Remus's note.  Lizzie scribbled something quickly and handed it to the guy who had smiled before hurrying off into the cold wind.

_Lizzie_

_83710495646_

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**_Wow, I haven't written in a long time!  But here it is: a nice, short chapter with plenty of J/L fluff!  And what's going on with Lizzie and Remus?  I really don't know, because I'm just making it up as I go along!  Woop woop.  ???  (Oh, by the by, I don't know how to do a British phone number, so there you go.  That's what "__83710495646" _****is...)**

**_So, once again, I'm asking you all for your wonderful ideas as to how this story should precede...Anything at all, folks!  I had a plan when I started this all, but I forgot what it was.  Damn short, er, long term memory._**

**_And I think we should celebrate because this is the 20th chapter, so...here is a riddle.  If a whole bunch of people get it, well, you'll get something, I don't know what, probably the chapter dedicated to all y'all...and if only one person gets it, you can be a one shot character, I suppose.  _**

**_The Riddle:_**

**_What sits in a corner, stays in a corner and yet travels all over the world?_**

****

**_Ok!  Bye, bye everyone._**

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**_---dOOdles._****__**

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**_PLeeeeeeeeEEEEase_****_ review._****__**

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